1. Wear high-endurance sandals purchased from a hiking shop.
2. And long black dress socks with shorts.
3. Tuck his T-shirt into his trousers.
4. Bring a large sun hat that can’t be packed in a suitcase and then causes huge amounts of drama the entire trip.
5. Wear extremely expensive wrap-around sports sunglasses even if the last time he did sport was 20 years ago.
6. Keep everything in a sweet money belt.
7. Insist on taking photos of you doing fairly dangerous things.
8. And also make you pose for extremely embarrassing photos.
9. Spend a really, really long time inspecting the hire car for scratches and taking photos of them with his digital camera.
10. And spend ages at the hotel check-in asking a ridiculous number of questions.
11. Absolutely live in fear of accidentally buying something from the minibar in the hotel.
13. Get a phrasebook out to translate every item on the menu in a restaurant.
14. Occasionally feign a slight accent when speaking to people who live in the place you're staying.
15. Ask the waiter to explain every dish in great detail.
16. And specifically ask questions about the provenance of the seafood and then not actually order it.
17. Ask for the bill by doing “the international hand gesture for the bill”.
18. Get confused about the tipping and service charge policy abroad.
19. Fall asleep in the sun and get super burned
20. Get buried in the sand.
Buried my dad in the sand.. Now it's a party 😂😁🙈
21. Wear one of these shirts.
