1. Totally underestimating how hot the tube will be when you leave the house in the morning.
"Oh what a lovely breezy summery day, feeling pretty good right now"
*arrives at tube station*
"How is it even possible for it to be this hot? I might cancel my beach holiday and just sit on the Northern Line for a week"
2. Realising you’ve made a huge mistake with your outfit.
Don't think that polyester blend top will be OK because IT WILL NOT and you'll be marinating in a blend of sweat and your own tears in a matter of minutes.
3. Just wanting to rip your clothes off as soon as you get on the platform
But realising that is totally inappropriate.
4. Getting on the tube and it’s so cramped you can’t take your jacket off.
And getting horribly claustrophobic.
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5. Resigning yourself to the fact that you’re just going to have massive sweat patches today.
So sexy.
6. Attempting the stairs instead of the escalator on a particularly hot day.
7. When you’re not sure if that’s sweat rolling down your face or you’ve just started crying with how hot it is.
Probably a mix of both.
8. Then realising you’ve forgotten your water.
And seriously wondering if it's actually possible for humans to melt.
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9. Standing in close proximity to someone who’s forgotten to put on deodorant.
FFS.
10. Or worse, standing next to a group of lads who’ve just had an energetic kick about in the park.
Mmmm, that beery sweaty smell.
11. Accidentally touching someone’s lower back sweat.
Gag.
12. Seeing someone wearing a coat and being irrationally angry with them.
HOW ARE YOU NOT HOT?
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13. When the person in front of the window shuts it because it’s windy.
And you give them a look so dirty it could spoil milk.
14. Having to look at people's gross flipflop feet.
Lovely muddy foot grimness.
15. Finally getting a seat and discovering it’s creepily warm.
16. And the armrests have sweat on them.
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17. When a person sits so close to you their heat radiates into your very soul.
And makes you even hotter.
18. Getting on the tube looking mostly ok.
19. Then getting off looking like you’ve just done the ice bucket challenge.
20. Spending the first hour at work talking about how hot your commute was.
And getting into a completely ridiculous contest with your colleagues over who's journey was more physically uncomfortable.
"It was 28 degrees on the Central Line"
"Well the Bakerloo Line was 30 degrees"
"MY TUBE CARRIAGE WAS LITERALLY ON FIRE. ON FIRE. I'M A GHOST NOW BY THE WAY."
21. Realizing you’re going to have to do it all again in eight hours.
WHY.
22. Oh well, at least you don't have to get the bus.
