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14 People You’ll See On Every British Campsite This Summer

Massive state-of-the-art tents as far as the eye can see.

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1. Complete newbies.

FresFestival / Via Flickr: 121469396@N08

Easily spotted by their confused faces as they try to unpack an Argos tent with the labels still on it. Likely to be seen eating baked beans straight out of the tin because they couldn't get the stove to work.

2. School leavers.

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This group can be identified by their new Topshop wellies, leavers hoodies, and general youthful glow – a combination of not showering and the sweaty optimism that comes with thinking A-levels are the hardest thing you'll ever do.

3. Stag dos.

Russell James Smith / Via Flickr: russelljsmith

Shouts of "GO ON GARYYY" echo round the campsite as these blokes just on the right side of a mid-life crisis try to convince each other that downing 12 cans of warm Carling in a field is still a good idea.

4. Hardcore backpackers.

Chris Waits / Via Flickr: chriswaits

Usually seen putting up their high-spec ultra-lightweight tent in under a minute then cooking army rations on a very tiny stove while they talk about how many miles they still have to cover and brag about their blisters.

5. Families with a large number of distant relatives in tow.

RichardBH / Via Flickr: rbh

These families seem to have brought all the cousins, aunts, and elderly relatives down in a convoy. They never leave the campsite, because it's too much of an effort to get everyone organised, so instead spend their time smugly playing swingball and having massive BBQs. Also, they probably got a Tesco delivery sent to the campsite.

6. Couples.

Russell James Smith/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: russelljsmith

They wear matching couples' North Face fleeces, call each other by cute nicknames, and spend their days going on wholesome hikes. Then they keep everyone awake at night with their loud shagging.

7. Groups of uni students.

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Transporting the freshers' week experience to a campsite near you, this lot are identifiable by their matching uni stash and the empty cans of Strongbow littering the area around their pop-up festival tents.

8. Elderly couples in caravans.

Tim Regan / Via Flickr: dumbledad

Spending their golden years sitting in the awning drinking wine and smiling to people who pass their pitch, these couples with leathery tans are living the dream.

9. Families with very young children.

Jay Gooby / Via Flickr: jaygooby

You know who doesn't love the wilderness? Newborn infants. These families probably decided to go camping because it's cheaper than Center Parcs and "basically the same thing". After this trip they will vow never to go camping again.

10. DofE groups.

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A large group of despondent-looking teenagers who you'll spot rolling into the campsite at 9pm after an argument over which way was is north led to a six-mile detour.

11. Wilderness survival dudes.

Dan DeChiaro / Via Flickr: dandechiaro

Fancying themselves as Somerset's answer to Bear Grylls, they come equipped with para-cord bracelets, a big hunting knife, and lots of high-wicking fabric. And they definitely own a head-torch. Even though you're on a campsite with electricity, running water, and a shop. And they drove there. In a car.

12. Members of the Caravan Club.

GeirB / Via Flickr: geby

Usually seen having long nerdy chats about tow bars and the best kinds of caravan toilet cleaner. Avoid getting trapped in a conversation with them at the water tap – you'll never be able to leave.

13. Families with enormous state-of-the-art tents.

Chris Barnes / Via Flickr: matlock-photo

Their tents likely have a lounge space, solar-powered lighting, and all manner of pointless accessories from a no-doubt-expensive raid on Mountain Warehouse. Amazingly, they will seem to have fitted all of this, and several children, in the back of a Ford Focus.

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