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Vampire Attacks Helpless Geriatric

A 22-year-old transient attacked an elderly, wheelchair-bound man in a Hooters parking lot in Florida yesterday, telling him "I am a vampire, I am going to eat you," before ripping bite-sized chunks out of his face and arm. The Smoking Gun reports that when questioned by the police, "she was unable to tell officers what had transpired outside the shuttered restaurant. Nor could she explain what had happened to her pants or why her panties were at her ankles." I'm going to point the finger of blame at Stephanie Meyer. This kind of shit never went down when Anne Rice was around.

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