Cara Delevingne, who will star in the upcoming Paper Towns, appears on the cover of Vogue's July issue. Inside, she opens up about her relationship with singer Annie Clark (better known as St. Vincent) for the very first time.
The interview covers everything from Delevingne's childhood to "the bubble" of the fashion world — which she has finally popped out of. Delevingne also opened up about her sudden battle with depression at the age of 15, saying, "All of a sudden I was hit with a massive wave of depression and anxiety and self-hatred, where the feelings were so painful that I would slam my head against a tree to try to knock myself out. I never cut, but I’d scratch myself to the point of bleeding. I just wanted to dematerialize and have someone sweep me away.”
These days, the model is more content than ever (largely in thanks to her happy relationship, which, until now, she had not discussed publicly).
“I think that being in love with my girlfriend is a big part of why I’m feeling so happy with who I am these days," Delevingne said in the interview. "And for those words to come out of my mouth is actually a miracle.”
True to her Instagram bio ("Stop labeling, start living"), Delevingne does not label herself when it comes to her sexuality.
The article continues with Delevingne describing the difficulties she encountered with fully embracing and understanding her sexuality — many feelings with which she is still grappling.
Cara says she felt confused by her sexuality as a child, and the possibility of being gay frightened her. "It took me a long time to accept the idea, until I first fell in love with a girl at 20 and recognized that I had to accept it," she explains. "But I have erotic dreams only about men. I had one two nights ago where I went up to a guy in the back of a VW minivan, with a bunch of his friends around him, and pretty much jumped him." Her parents seem to think girls are just a phase for Cara, and they may be correct. "Women are what completely inspire me, and they have also been my downfall. I have only been hurt by women, my mother first of all."
The model continues, “If I ever found a guy I could fall in love with, I’d want to marry him and have his children."
"And that scares me to death because I think I'm a whole bunch of crazy, and I always worry that a guy will walk away once he really, truly knows me."
The interviewer points out that Cara's parents "seem to think girls are just a phase" — he adds that "they may be correct."
