Nestlé Is Releasing "Premium" Water For The "Stylish Woman"

Are you a stylish, trendy and affluent woman? If so, there’s a new water brand in town, just for you.

While sharing quinoa with your girlfriends outside on the porch, watching your kids paddle in the pool outside, you’ve probably berated supermarkets for never stocking water that’s suitable for you. I mean, Evian. What’s with that stuff?

Don’t fret though, you can finally stop worrying as Nestlé is releasing a new brand of water, Resource, especially for you. Larry Cooper, the brand’s marketing manager said that the water is for “a woman who is a little more on the trendy side and higher-income side, and the bull’s-eye is 35 years old.” Cheers all around, as you no longer have to buy the same water that men drink. Your water will taste better, and Cooper hopes that you’ll start thinking of it as a “bottled water accessory”. So next time you go out, leave your Abercrombie & Fitch jumper at home and buy a Resource instead.

Not sold yet? Here’s their advert.

youtube.com

It’s pretty clear, then. By drinking this specialised gendered water, not only will everyone around you vanish but you’ll also be faced with a bunch of people you’ve never met forcing you to do acrobatic stunts. Sweet.

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