33 Reasons You Should Never Mess With The Outback

Australia’s beautiful desert interior is deadly.

1. The Outback is VAST and almost entirely empty.

2. Empty of people that is.

BBC Worldwide / Via youtube.com

3. Fewer than 700,000 people live in Outback Australia, less than 0.1 per square km.

The vast majority of Australia’s interior is Outback, yet only three percent of the population lives there.

4. So, get lost in the Outback and you will most probably die.

5. Die dehydrated, hundreds of miles from life-saving refreshment.

Simon Stock / Castlemaine XXXX

6. That big thing in the sky will own you.

7. If the flies don’t get you first.

Hap Cameron / Via hapcameron.com

8. Even if you don’t get lost you’re in the shit.

Wolf Creek / Emu Creek Pictures / Via tumblr.com

9. Distances between gas stations are vast.

In some places space is closer than the nearest town.

10. Roads are mind-numbingly dull.

The Eyre Highway across the Nullarbor Plain includes one section that runs 145.6 kilometres (90.5 miles) without a turn. Concentrate or die!

11. Road signs are confusingly scary.

Wake In Fright / United Artists / Via tumblr.com

12. And the locals are feral at best.

Wake In Fright / United Artists / Via tumblr.com

13. Horrifying at worst.

Wolf Creek / Emu Creek Pictures / Via horroaddict.tumblr.com

14. And generally best avoided.

Mad Max / Warner Bros. / Via 80s-90s-stuff.tumblr.com

(This doesn’t include the real locals, warm and welcoming Indigenous Australians who have lived in the Outback for more than 50,000 years)

15. The Outback is home to Australia’s mining industry = DANGER!

16. There are snakes.

MASSIVE SNAKES, like the Woma Python.

17. There are giant, speedy lizards.

BBC Wildlife / Via youtube.com

18. And giant scorpions too.

BBC Worldwide / Via youtube.com

19. You are GUARANTEED to have nightmares.

Wake In Fright / United Artists / Via tumblr.com

20. Even if you don’t get lost, there’s a good chance a road train will kill you.

21. They Stop For NOTHING.

22. If you’re crazy enough to try and overtake one, make sure there’s a lot of spare bitumen. These babies are 177ft long.

23. While watching for road trains, keep your eyes peeled for native wildlife.

24. There Are NO Fences!

25. Kangaroos looking for blood.

Wake In Fright / United Artists / Via cinemagreats.tumblr.com

26. Giant wedge-tailed eagles looking for something more satisfying than dead kangaroo.

27. Pissed off red kangaroos with serious attitude.

Jami Tarris / Getty Images

28. Or camels. Dangerous wild feral camels.


Camels?! The estimated one million wild camels are the world’s biggest feral herd.

29. Watch out for giant wild feral pigs.

Razorback / Via wikipedia.org

Better hope the hunters get them first.

30. Distances are so vast horses ride in the back of Utes. Watch out for stray horses.

31. There are no speed limits.

32. Dust storms can blow up from nowhere.

33. As can fire tornados. YOU’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE.

heavy.com / Via Chris Tangey, manager at Alice Springs Film

In summary, be VERY prepared and NEVER leave your car.


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Simon Crerar is founding editor of BuzzFeed Australia and is based in Sydney.
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