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How To Handle The Fact That Chris Pine Has A Girlfriend

A step-by-step guide so you can handle it like the mature adult you wish you were.

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*These steps do not solely apply to Chris Pine. This How To can be used for any celebrity crush who crushes you by dating someone who isn't you.


Step Two: Cry. Lots of crying. You've just been dealt the low blow of finding out the beautiful, adorable, sex God Chris Pine is off the market. It's okay to cry. Let it all out. This is your time to purge your emotions.


Step Five: Listen to "Bitter Rivals" by Sleigh Bells (or any other song with an appropriate level of anger in it) at least 20 times in a row while you google Chris Pine's new girlfriend and come up with a list of reasons why he shouldn't date her.

Step Six: Print out all the pictures you have saved to your computer of Chris Pine. Go to your backyard or any available space and build a fire. Burn all the pictures. This is part of the healing process, it will help you move on.

Step Seven: Wear black for a week. This will make you feel infinitely sexier than any beauty pageant winning foreigner Chris Pine could ever date and will complete the mourning process for the children you will never have with him.

Step Nine: Go on to IMDB and give every film Chris Pine has ever been in a 1 Star rating. You're not getting mad, just even.


(okay maybe a little mad)

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