*These steps do not solely apply to Chris Pine. This How To can be used for any celebrity crush who crushes you by dating someone who isn’t you.
2. Step One: Validate the news. Make sure you’re hearing this from a reputable source. Do an in-depth google search.
11. Step Four: Send dozens of snapchats to all your friends of pictures of Chris Pine with his new girlfriend with notes like “my life is over” or “WHY GOD WHY?”
12. Step Five: Listen to “Bitter Rivals” by Sleigh Bells (or any other song with an appropriate level of anger in it) at least 20 times in a row while you google Chris Pine’s new girlfriend and come up with a list of reasons why he shouldn’t date her.
Is she even a natural blonde? What charities does she support? Those shoes, really?
13. Step Six: Print out all the pictures you have saved to your computer of Chris Pine. Go to your backyard or any available space and build a fire. Burn all the pictures. This is part of the healing process, it will help you move on.
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