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The Horrible Reality Of Having Bangs


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So you decided to get bangs.

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And you look fucking GREAT with them.

For a second, you think this is the best time in your life. But your bangs actually want to make your life a living hell.

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No one told you how much work would be involved.

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The blow-drying, the curling, the pinning. I just can't hang with this.

And you will never be able to recreate how good they looked in the salon.

You'll try to work out but they will always be there: a sweating, flopping, stringy mess drowning your forehead.

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You'll try to pin your bangs to the side but quickly realize you look like you're a 12-year-old girl.

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What can you do? Absolutely nothing. YOU ARE POWERLESS AGAINST THEM.

They'll get into your eyes and interfere with your sight.

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You need your fucking sight.

They never care if you need them to cooperate.

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Oh, you want a good hair day? FUCK YOU.

xoxo bangs.

They'll grow to a weird length and you'll have to try and push them aside.

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Just choose a side. Any side. Please.

And you start to improvise new ways to wear your hair so that the bangs don't show.

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I've worn this headband four times this week but no biggie.

You feel like growing them out, but it's too hard.


They will always be there. Waiting.

They don't care if you don't want the commitment. THEY DON'T CARE.

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They're here. FOREVER.

And you make the tough decision that it's easier to just keep cutting them.

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It's a vicious cycle.

But one day, your hairdresser asks if you want your bangs trimmed and you finally have the strength to say, "No."

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I am more powerful than my bangs. I am more powerful than my bangs. I am more powerful than my bangs.

And your hair is starting to look normal again.

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But then you see someone look awesome with bangs.

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Like really, really awesome.

All your good memories start to flood back.

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Remember when we were in a bar and that kid who played the bad guy in The Hunger Games said he liked my bangs? REMEMBER?!

And you know, in your heart, that you have to go back to them.

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You're both effortless and chic, sexy and girly, mysterious and relatable. I LOVE YOU, BANGS!

I'll never leave you again.

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