17 Beautifully Ugly Hipster Sweaters You Can Buy On Etsy

Because you wouldn’t be seen dead in a sensible fleece.

1. Clocks and Pocket Watches Sweater

Because you never know when your vintage Casio calculator watch might stop working.

2. 4th of July Sweater

Because ironic patriotism is cool.

3. Whale Sweater

Because carrying around your dog-eared copy of Moby Dick can be tiring.

4. Over-sized Geometric Sweater

Because nothing’s more hipster than a triangle.

5. Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sweater

Because the item description for this sweater must be the only time that the words “Disney” and “Sea Punk” have ever been used in the same sentence.

6. Taxi sweater

Because when you’ve had too much Four Loko and your fixed gear bike has been stolen from outside a Deerhunter show, it can be hard to remember how to get home. This sweater can help you.

7. Study Abroad Sweater

Because this sweater represents all the countries you say you’re going to study in. However, we all know that you’ll never leave Williamsburg.

8. The Next Day Sweater

Because this sweater reminds you of being in Atticus and Hudson’s loft apartment after their last party. It’s a knitted reminder of waking up on the floor, hungover, surrounded by four other passed-out hipsters.

9. Apple Sweater

Because it’s, like, a wearable Apple product.

10. The Hallucinogenic Sweater

Because the next time Clementine and Beatrix invite you to their apartment to take LSD, this sweater is going to make the experience about ten times more intense.

11. Eyeball Sweater

Because having this amount of eyes means you can watch the band, judge members of the audience on what they’re wearing AND check your Instagram all at once.

12. Horse Sweater

Because horses are the new fixed-gear bike.

13. Panda Sweater

Because pandas are like hipsters. They’re lazy vegetarians who like to lounge around a lot.

14. Native American Sweater

Because it’ll compliment your Native American headdress perfectly.

15. Maggie Simpson Sweater

Because it’s Maggie Simpson. On a sweater.

16. Hipster Kitty Sweater

Because hipsters love cats. So when a hipster finds a cat that’s wearing a fucking bow-tie and has adopted an expression of boredom mixed with hatred, it’s like the hipster has found itself… but in feline form.

17. Color Block Grandma Sweater

Just because.

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