Everyone Deserves A Friend Like Philip J. Fry

Compassionate, loyal, loves junk food and beer, and dumb as a rock.

1. He’s always up for whatever weird new thing you want to do.

Like surfing the sludge waves of New New York’s sewers.

2. Dude is the KING of pep talks.

Seriously, his pep talks are untouchable!

3. He will never judge your hunger pangs, because he feels them, too.

There’s no pain like having all the canned food you need, and every can opener in the world in open rebellion against humans.

4. He’ll never take your friendship for granted.

5. He’ll defend your drinking adventures to haters.

6. And you’ll never be the third wheel around him.

Better call Bender’s online pimping dating service.

7. He’s got a healthy, realistic self-perception.

8. Though he can hold a grudge, he also knows how to let one go.

He hated his brother for 1000 years, but instantly changed his mind when he saw his nephew was named in his honor.

9. The boy loves his momma.

10. He knows how to compliment your cooking.

11. He’ll commiserate with you on a lousy Monday.

12. Say what you will about his gifts, he knows what he’s good at.

13. Your irrational fears will feel downright ordinary next to his.

Caterpillars. He is deathly afraid of caterpillars.

14. He will happily walk into stupid situations with you.

15. He’ll call shotgun when you want to make a burger run.

16. He’s the wingman you never knew you needed.

17. You’ll always feel better about yourself after hanging out with him.

18. He’s brutally honest about his shortcomings, and knows how to empathize.

19. Any excuse is a good excuse to go drinking for him, so he’s always down for brunch.

20. You never have to get all dressy round him.

Courtesy of Comedy Central

21. He’ll match you in trash talk jab for jab, but… he’s not very good at it.

22. He’s got great fashion advice.

23. He’ll never judge you for your dirty apartment, because this is his:

24. He’s down to just chill and do nothing.

25. And he’s not afraid to look like an idiot.

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