20 Things Gay Scouts And Leaders Won’t Be Able To Enjoy Until May

These are all off-limits until the leadership of the BSA makes up their minds three months from now. It ain’t all knots and secret handshakes.

1. Gay Scouts can’t shape five ounces of wood into something that could break the sound barrier.

Joseph Mabel / Wikimedia Commons / Via commons.wikimedia.org

It’s the Pinewood Derby, and it is awesome.

2. Or alternatively, into a work of art on wheels:

At least not until May.

3. Gay Scouts won’t get to earn this:

4. And gay leaders won’t be allowed to teach them what every one of these is for:

Brian Herzog / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: herzogbr

Until May.

5. Gay Scouts won’t be able to make a Klondike sled out of PVC pipes and steely determination and drag it through the mud and snow like a dog.

And LOVE it.

6. Nor will they be allowed to be tied to it with the rest of their friends and run like hell over a half-mile track through the woods.

Mark Riffey / Via flatheadbeacon.com

At least, not until May.

7. Gay Scouts won’t be allowed to carry their friends on a homemade palanquin while blindfolded as part of first aid training.

Troop 701 / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: troop701

8. And gay leaders won’t be allowed to teach Scouts how to set a fire without setting everything else on fire.

9. Gay leaders won’t be able to teach the importance of gun control.

Evil Sara / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: evil_sara

The Rifle Shooting and Shotgun Shooting merit badges teach Scouts how to handle firearms correctly and safely, and give them a very real awareness of how deadly guns are… but gay Scouts won’t be allowed that education until May.

10. Nor will gay leaders teach Scouts how to use one of the oldest projectile weapons in the world.

11. Between now and May, gay Scouts won’t be allowed to cook chicken on a spit for their troop.

halseike / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 99624358@N00

Or make London broil, chocolate cake, or baked potatoes over a campfire.

12. And gay leaders can’t help Scouts survive 5-foot river rapids on an inflated couch.

Ian Hampton / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: ianhampton

13. Gay Scouts can’t cross a rope bridge 50 feet in the air with nothing to catch them but another rope.

Michael Cardus / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: create-learning

14. Gay leaders and Scouts can’t sell popcorn door to door.

Chris Tengi / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: cjtengi

Or batteries. Girl Scout Cookie Envy manifests itself differently from troop to troop, but gay Scouting members can’t do anything about that until May.

15. Gay Scouts can’t sleep next to sharks at aquarium overnights.

David G Steadmen / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: davidgsteadman

16. Or next to DINOSAURS on museum overnights.

Scott Anselmo / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: paleontography

17. Gay Scouts and leaders aren’t allowed to spend any Saturday morning between now and May in a scratchy tan uniform collecting canned food for strangers.

The Jewish Museum of Maryland / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jewishmuseumofmaryland

18. Gay Scouts know the rest of “On my honor…”

dmott9 / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: dmott9

…but they aren’t allowed to be proud of it, until May.

19. Gay Scouts can’t earn any of these until May.

Ben Combee / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: unwiredben

20. And gay leaders can’t pin this on any Scouts’ shirts.

Daniel Reck / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: danielreck

No matter how much they’ve earned it, until May.

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