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Which "Strictly Come Dancing" 2014 Contestant Are You?

Will your result get a "SEEEEEEVVVVVEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN" from Len?

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    Thinkstock / Getty Images and Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed
    BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
    Stuart C. Wilson / Stringer / Getty Images
    BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
    Chris Jackson / Getty Images
    Danny Martindale / Stringer / Getty Images
    Chris Jackson / Getty Images
    BBC / youtube.com
    Anthony Harvey / Stringer / Getty Images
    BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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    BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
    "Some of your lines need finishing properly."
    "You must tighten your bumcheeks, darling."
    "The only good thing about that for me was the end."
    "Your gate, my darling, is extremely wide."
    "A zimmerframe has, darling, more movement than I saw there."
    "The muscles for me were a slight distraction, I've got to admit."
    "All the Ls – lifeless, lacklustre, laboured."
    "Posture is really appalling. That needs attention."
    "I thought your arm placement was decidedly dodgy."
  3. 3.

    Mythja / Thinkstock / Scott Bryan (BuzzFeed). All images below bbc.co.uk
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    Above: iStock / Thinkstock / Getty Images. Below all from bbc.co.uk and bbc.co.uk
    Iveta Lukosiute
    Iveta Lukosiute
    Joanne Clifton
    Joanne Clifton
    Trent Whiddon
    Trent Whiddon
    Pasha Kovalev
    Pasha Kovalev
    Ola Jordan
    Ola Jordan
    Anton du Beke
    Anton du Beke
    Kristina Rihanoff
    Kristina Rihanoff
    Kevin Clifton
    Kevin Clifton
    Karen Hauer
    Karen Hauer
  5. 5.

    jeka1984 / iStock / Thinkstock / Getty Images
    Awe-inspiring American smooth
    Passionate pasodoble
    Charismatic cha cha cha
    Vivacious Viennese waltz
    Quirky quickstep
    Foxy foxtrot
    Loud Lindy hop
    Arty Argentine tango
    SEXY SEXY salsa
  6. 6.

    iStock / Thinkstock / Getty. All images below BBC / bbc.co.uk
    "I wish I had my glasses with me."
    "It's behind you and it will eat us."
    "My hand is stuck in an air vent!"
    "My coat zip is stuck at the top."
    "My kitchen table will be this big."
    "I wish I had my umbrella with me."
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    "These trousers barely fit me."
    "Where is the chain for this toilet?"
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    X Factor / Freemantle and Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed
    Absolutely. Sorry, Strictly. *hits remote with face*
    Yeah – but I won't tell anyone.
    Nah – but I'll probably tune in for the finals.
    YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING. ITV MY ARSE.
  8. 8.

    Doctor Who / BBC and Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed
    No – because I don't understand any of Doctor Who.
    No – because it hasn't been the same since Matt Smith.
    Yes – because both shows are exactly the same.
    Yes – because this show is sex and the BBC is my sexuality.
    CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN'S FRINGE. THAT IS ALL.

Which "Strictly Come Dancing" 2014 Contestant Are You?

You got: Simon Webbe

WOW, you got Simon Webbe. To celebrate, here are the lyrics from "All Rise", just for you: "One for the money and the free rides. It's two for the lie that you denied. All rise. All rise. Three for the calls that you've been making. It's four all the times you've been faking. All rise. All rise."

Simon Webbe
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Caroline Flack

SHOULDN'T YOU BE PRESENTING THE BIT AFTER THE FOUR-HOUR SATURDAY X FACTOR? Don't worry Caroline, the BBC loves you. And you're doing really well in the competition, so boast about that.

Caroline Flack
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Pixie Lott

WOW, you got Pixie Lott! You're already doing so well that Bruno Tonioli shouted last week: "WEEK TWO. That is pure artistry." You have the potential to go all the way. WOO WOO.

Pixie Lott
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Scott Mills

ALRIGHT TREACLE (fills mouth full of water because of some inevitable *innuendo bingo*). Congratulations for getting Scott. He might not win but he loves you. LOVE YOU. BYE.

Scott Mills
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Steve Backshall

YOU GOT STEVE. The one who is really hard around animals that might kill us all. He's the enthusiastic one, the cheeky one, the one you have to appease otherwise he WILL COME ROUND YOUR HOUSE WITH A TIGER AND UNLEASH IT.

Steve Backshall
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Frankie Bridge

WOW, you got Frankie. And as a special treat here's the lyrics to the chorus of The Saturdays' song "Up"... "I'm ready for the lift up, keep steady beat. Cos I'm ready for the big jump, keep up with me. If you lose me then you know, you're just a bit too slow. I only go UP, UP."

Frankie Bridge
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Judy Murray

WOW, you got Judy Murray. Andy Murray's mother! The person you always see during the BBC's Wimbledon coverage with a serious "C'mon Andy" facial expression! Game, set, and match. Strawberries and cream. ETC ETC.

Judy Murray
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Mark Wright

Yes, that's right, you got Mark from TOWIE! The one that you most recognise from TOWIE! Don't be cynical – he seems to be doing really well at the moment. You have the potential to go really far here. DON'T MOCK TOWIE FOR ONCE, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Mark Wright
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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You got: Thom Evans

YOU GOT THE HOT MODEL GUY. But you're also an impressively good dancer too. Here's what Bruno Tonioli has to say about you: "Thom, there is no denying that you are easy on the eye, but you nearly blew the thermostat this evening, my darling!"

Thom Evans
BBC Entertainment / bbc.co.uk
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