back to top

This Year's "Apprentice" Candidates Are As Stupidly Ambitious As Ever

Prepare to get angry, because The Apprentice UK is back on our screens.

Posted on

Don't look at Steven Ugoalah. He's shy.

Nobody is better than this social worker. Nobody.
bbc.co.uk

Nobody is better than this social worker. Nobody.

Mark Wright doesn't just walk the walk.

The sales manager says he's got his whole life planned out – he knows what he's doing "tomorrow, in five years, in 10 years, and when I'm 85".
bbc.co.uk

The sales manager says he's got his whole life planned out – he knows what he's doing "tomorrow, in five years, in 10 years, and when I'm 85".

Scott McCulloch knows absolutely everything.

He's a clinical development strategist and says he is a mixture between Gandhi ("because he helped mankind") and The Wolf of Wall Street. Sounds charming.
bbc.co.uk

He's a clinical development strategist and says he is a mixture between Gandhi ("because he helped mankind") and The Wolf of Wall Street. Sounds charming.

Felipe Alviar-Baquero is a very humble man.

In his audition video he keeps talking about himself in the third person.
bbc.co.uk

In his audition video he keeps talking about himself in the third person.

Sanjay Sood-Smith is the sexy one.

The senior manager then says the immortal line: "I'm not here to make friends."
bbc.co.uk

The senior manager then says the immortal line: "I'm not here to make friends."

Solomon Akhtar has multiple tentacles.

The technology entrepreneur says if he can do that with every single task then he has a good chance of winning. Good luck with those tentacles.
bbc.co.uk

The technology entrepreneur says if he can do that with every single task then he has a good chance of winning. Good luck with those tentacles.

Pamela Uddin is invincible.

The assistant brand manager says, "I know why I'm different and that's because I know myself inside out and upside down." Sounds painful.
bbc.co.uk

The assistant brand manager says, "I know why I'm different and that's because I know myself inside out and upside down." Sounds painful.

Sarah Dales can sell ice to an Eskimo.

The former PA and hypnotherapist says that she likes going to high-end places because "the people who go there tend to be the same".
bbc.co.uk

The former PA and hypnotherapist says that she likes going to high-end places because "the people who go there tend to be the same".

Daniel Lassman can sell stuff to people who can't sew.

This director of a pub quiz company says he always "walks into a room with presence", and that once he has arrived "the person knows that I'm here".
bbc.co.uk

This director of a pub quiz company says he always "walks into a room with presence", and that once he has arrived "the person knows that I'm here".

Bianca Miller wants to make a clone of herself.

By those mathematics, this owner of a personal branding company could have made it in her current job by the time she was 12.
bbc.co.uk

By those mathematics, this owner of a personal branding company could have made it in her current job by the time she was 12.

Roisin Hogan wants to be all the acronyms.

The accountant says also that she wants to pick off her opponents "one by one".
bbc.co.uk

The accountant says also that she wants to pick off her opponents "one by one".

Robert Goodwin is the most interesting-looking one.

Why? Well, the marketing manager explains that some of it is to do with the fact that others are wearing suits. He's not wearing a suit. He's wearing a jacket and a T-shirt.
bbc.co.uk

Why? Well, the marketing manager explains that some of it is to do with the fact that others are wearing suits. He's not wearing a suit. He's wearing a jacket and a T-shirt.

Nurun Ahmed is an incredibly busy person.

Technically then, this marketing officer and fashion retailer can do 100 jobs in 20 hours.
bbc.co.uk

Technically then, this marketing officer and fashion retailer can do 100 jobs in 20 hours.

James Hill is not going to stop. NOT GOING TO STOP.

He says he got no qualifications and no education and that he relies on himself to make money.
bbc.co.uk

He says he got no qualifications and no education and that he relies on himself to make money.

Lindsay Booth is full of FLAMES, or something.

The owner of a swimming academy says that although others might underestimate her because she doesn't have enough experience, she's very determined.
bbc.co.uk

The owner of a swimming academy says that although others might underestimate her because she doesn't have enough experience, she's very determined.

Ella Jade Bitton doesn't need a game plan.

She says that twice in her audition video. She is really "me".
bbc.co.uk

She says that twice in her audition video. She is really "me".

Jemma Bird needs praise and needs it now.

The operations manager says she's "only 26 but has got quite big ambitions".
bbc.co.uk

The operations manager says she's "only 26 but has got quite big ambitions".

Katie Bulmer Cooke wants to invade without you noticing.

The fitness entrepreneur boasts that she built her business without any financial assistance from her parents.
bbc.co.uk

The fitness entrepreneur boasts that she built her business without any financial assistance from her parents.

Lauren Riley is pleasant, unless she's very unpleasant.

The solicitor wants "success at the highest level", and says she's increased turnover at her workplace by 7%.
bbc.co.uk

The solicitor wants "success at the highest level", and says she's increased turnover at her workplace by 7%.

Let the final candidate, company director Chiles Cartwright, leave you with these words of wisdom.

Thanks for that, Cartwright. THANKS.
bbc.co.uk

Thanks for that, Cartwright. THANKS.

The Apprentice starts next Tuesday at 9 p.m. on BBC One.