This Year's "Apprentice" Candidates Are As Stupidly Ambitious As Ever

Prepare to get angry, because The Apprentice UK is back on our screens.

Don't look at Steven Ugoalah. He's shy.

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Nobody is better than this social worker. Nobody.

Mark Wright doesn't just walk the walk.

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The sales manager says he's got his whole life planned out – he knows what he's doing "tomorrow, in five years, in 10 years, and when I'm 85".

Scott McCulloch knows absolutely everything.

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He's a clinical development strategist and says he is a mixture between Gandhi ("because he helped mankind") and The Wolf of Wall Street. Sounds charming.

Felipe Alviar-Baquero is a very humble man.

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In his audition video he keeps talking about himself in the third person.

Sanjay Sood-Smith is the sexy one.

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The senior manager then says the immortal line: "I'm not here to make friends."

Solomon Akhtar has multiple tentacles.

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The technology entrepreneur says if he can do that with every single task then he has a good chance of winning. Good luck with those tentacles.

Pamela Uddin is invincible.

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The assistant brand manager says, "I know why I'm different and that's because I know myself inside out and upside down." Sounds painful.

Sarah Dales can sell ice to an Eskimo.

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The former PA and hypnotherapist says that she likes going to high-end places because "the people who go there tend to be the same".

Daniel Lassman can sell stuff to people who can't sew.

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This director of a pub quiz company says he always "walks into a room with presence", and that once he has arrived "the person knows that I'm here".

Bianca Miller wants to make a clone of herself.

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By those mathematics, this owner of a personal branding company could have made it in her current job by the time she was 12.

Roisin Hogan wants to be all the acronyms.

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The accountant says also that she wants to pick off her opponents "one by one".

Robert Goodwin is the most interesting-looking one.

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Why? Well, the marketing manager explains that some of it is to do with the fact that others are wearing suits. He's not wearing a suit. He's wearing a jacket and a T-shirt.

Nurun Ahmed is an incredibly busy person.

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Technically then, this marketing officer and fashion retailer can do 100 jobs in 20 hours.

James Hill is not going to stop. NOT GOING TO STOP.

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He says he got no qualifications and no education and that he relies on himself to make money.

Lindsay Booth is full of FLAMES, or something.

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The owner of a swimming academy says that although others might underestimate her because she doesn't have enough experience, she's very determined.

Ella Jade Bitton doesn't need a game plan.

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She says that twice in her audition video. She is really "me".

Jemma Bird needs praise and needs it now.

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The operations manager says she's "only 26 but has got quite big ambitions".

Katie Bulmer Cooke wants to invade without you noticing.

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The fitness entrepreneur boasts that she built her business without any financial assistance from her parents.

Lauren Riley is pleasant, unless she's very unpleasant.

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The solicitor wants "success at the highest level", and says she's increased turnover at her workplace by 7%.

Let the final candidate, company director Chiles Cartwright, leave you with these words of wisdom.

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Thanks for that, Cartwright. THANKS.

The Apprentice starts next Tuesday at 9 p.m. on BBC One.