Fans of My Dad Wrote a Porno, a podcast in which a guy reads aloud an erotic novel written by his dad to his friends, will be pleased to know there's a sequel.
In case you are unfamiliar with My Dad Wrote a Porno, let me explain. The presenter of the podcast, Jamie Morton, has a dad who, in his sixties, wrote a novel, Belinda Blinked, under the alias of Rocky Flintstone.
"I thought it was a great way for him to spend his retirement – he never told me what the novel was," Morton told BuzzFeed UK. "He emailed it across. I started reading and discovered it was porn, or erotica, to be fair to him. … As I read I realised how bad it was, like the worst literature ever put on paper."
The first series of the show involves Morton (below centre) reading the book to his friends James Cooper (left) and Alice Levine.
1. "Giselle’s hands soon made light work of Belinda’s thong. The two girls started to excite each other and soon their respective vaginas were wet and steaming."
2. "Her tits hung freely, like pomegranates."
3. "'Absolutely,' Peter replied, 'In fact, this afternoon we’ve just ordered 3000 units of your Oxy Brillo range to get you started, and my purchasing team are looking at other products of yours which will fit into our present range of kitchen utensils.' 'Wow!' Belinda gasped and opened her legs slightly."
4. "Alfonse then said to Belinda, 'Would you visit me in my offices in Brussels and let me see your body again? Perhaps I could see more of it, and possibly in a less disgusting environment.'”
5. “The now devastated Belinda was immediately led to a hosepipe near the stables where the Duchess stripped her of her torn skirt and tennis shirt and hosed her down. She roughly fondled Belinda’s tits and ass in the washing process with a long handled brush and pushed her, still naked, into a horsebox."
6. “The conference room was upmarket. Tony liked to impress those customers who visited the offices and one of the best ways was decent meeting spaces.”
7. “The signposts were true to their word and Belinda soon found her way to the Horse and Jockey.”
8. “Peter, we just had good old fashioned sex… it was what we both wanted, and when you get what you want, you feel great!’
9. “Belinda bent over and pulled the plastic handcuffs over the Duchesses ankles. The Duchess stood up and stretched her cramped body. Her nipples hardened with her feeling and they were now as large as the three inch rivets which had held the hull of the fateful Titanic together.”
So what about Belinda Blinked 2?
The first episode of the new series will debut Monday July 4th.
The format for the second series will be similar to the first. One chapter an episode. 17 chapters in all. Belinda Blinked 2 was written after the first book but before the podcast came about, so the written material won't be swayed by its growing audience.
While the show has been off the air, Belinda has even been the subject of fan fiction. "She [the writer] is as talented as Rocky," jokes James.