He farted.He has forgotten his birthday (which is once every four years).He just found out that he was adopted.
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FARTING?
He just admitted that he jumped into a creek for a burrito.He thought it was a wedding reception when in fact it was an intervention.He accidentally brought an escort as his date.
You'd get more dates if you didn't wear this Jerry.
He said "mouth is full of marbles" wrong.He lost Little Sebastian at the Harvest Festival.He's just been told to check the reservoir for bird poo.
It was all Jerry's fault.
100% Jerry's fault and not Tom for losing Little Sebastian at all. 100%. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.
He's being criticised for being happily married for 28 years.He is wearing a new shirt and it looks awful.He used permanent marker on the whiteboard.
You're letting everyone down Jerry.
Please stop letting everyone down.
He picks up a peppermint latte and it goes all over his face.His artwork is an abomination.In his presentation he says "murinal" instead of "mural".
"I really wish I could have your body.""Afraid that's way too late. I will be deep into my bath by then.""Oh I know this one... They are all rap-pists."
That's not right, Jerry.
Because Jerry didn't see it and he knocked it over.Jerry threw something and it knocked the Roomba on to the floor.I don't know, but I bet that it is all Jerry's fault.
I just don't have the energy to shout at you any more.
Sure it was.
He just gave a powerpoint presentation about fonts and said that "Comic Sans screams fun."He licked it because he was checking it was blood.He just told everyone that he has peed his pants.
THIS IS CREEPY JERRY.
There's something really wrong with you.
His dog is called Lord Sheldon.He has the largest penis the doctors have ever seen.He didn't see the people who mugged him.
That's no excuse.
Jerry is playing his piano and it just won't stop.He has given his social security number over the phone.He's talking about how his birthday is on February 29th again.
OH FOR GOD SAKE.
Jerry is making them look at lewd photos on his computer.Jerry has just been told that he put all the flyers in the wrong envelopes.He's just been told that he doesn't deserve the internet.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE LIFE SO HARD?
JERRY. WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU. WE ALL WERE.
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