We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their best and/or weirdest drunk purchases on Amazon. Here are their hilarious responses:
2. A snuggly narwhal onesie for lounging, wearing on Halloween, walking around the city — the possibilities are endless.
3. A copy of Gordon Ramsay's perfectly titled autobiography, because everyone deserves a chance to tell their ~whole~ story.
6. A Charles Darwin ornament to show your deep appreciation for his contributions to the study of evolution.
7. The most magnificent "Funny Cute Cat Dressed as Rambo With Gun Riding a Glowing Red Eyes Fire Breathing Unicorn Mouse Pad" you've ever laid eyes on.
11. A cello to make your dreams of being a world-reowned classical musician come true (but make sure you get it in the right size).
16. A kiddie pool and some good ol' sand that will save you a bunch of time and gas you would've wasted going to an actual beach.
"To make a beach in my backyard, because I couldn’t drive there." —amandal4d25e72aa
17. A "wine rack" for your boobs because bras that don't contain hidden alcohol padding are B-list bras.
"It’s a sports bra that holds an entire bottle of wine that you can drink from with this long straw like a CamelBak." —katiev42503191e
Get it for $29.99.
18. A T. rex head to mount on your wall and instill deep fear in all of your visitors (but probably mostly yourself).
19. A fun-sized pocket breathalyzer to satiate your curious self during ~future~ alcohol consumption.
20. The complete series of The Flintstones, because you deserve quality cartoons at all times of the day.
22. A colorful AF Hawaiian shirt for your precious, unsuspecting feline or pup.
Submitted by deannew468724928
Get it for $10.99.
26. Enough dog poo bags to last you a lifetime (or less than that).
"Useful? Yes. But WTF, drunk self." —hollyj4e51f24fd
Get 900 bags for $14.97. For a little more $$, these are a good eco-friendly option.
28. A soy candle–making kit, which is probably best to play around with when sober, because hot wax and all.
"My first ever time getting drunk, I was feeling crafty and bought $60 worth of candle-making supplies. I didn't have a job and instead used the 'emergency savings' that my parents gave me. That was really fun to explain." —Cayla Walton, Facebook
You could buy supplies separately...or just get this kit for $39.
29. Shel Silverstein books to fill the gaping holes in someone's childhood left by the lack of these classics.
32. Eight jars of rainbow chip frosting, because your cakes deserve the very best slathers of colorful sugar.
34. A pound's worth of Pez candy and a baby wipes Dash button, so you can be relive your childhood and be really clean?
"I don’t have a baby…" —chloew4c8ba5c02
Get the Pez for $9.95 and Dash button for $4.99 (but you also get a $4.99 credit).
36. A winning combination of gummy worms, a French cookbook, a giant unicorn pool float, and purple hair dye.
And last but not least...
"Every time I buy off Amazon I'm drunk." —l4bbb4efe7
The comments for this post have been edited for length and clarity.