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    17 Strange As Hell Valentine's Day Gifts To Give Your Favourite Weirdo

    Oh, uhm... Thank you?

    by ,

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    Hey! While we’re doing our best to make sure the products we feature will arrive in time for Valentine’s Day, shipping times can vary depending on where you live, which product you purchase, and more. Be sure to double check the retailers’ websites for shipping information to ensure that your gift will arrive in time for the 14th!

    1. A squishy penis pillow might make for a surprising, but still willy good gift.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $19.99. Available in several sizes.

    2. A screaming goat desktop toy that reviewers seriously can't stop talking about. I'm not kidding. They can't stop raving about how this little, extremely loud, and annoying goat has improved their lives and the lives of others.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    It also comes with a 32-page illustrated book of fun facts about well, goats.

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $12.26.

    3. You've Got Crabs — a fun card game that lets you be able to say that phrase to your partner without a clawful response.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    The game includes 78 cards, instructions, a foam turn indicator, 28 crab points, and a box with three drawer compartments. It's intended for ages seven and up. To play the game, split into teams of two, create a secret signal, and try to get four matching cards that only your partner knows about. Be sure to pick up the expansion pack to get the crab claws shown in the picture!

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $29.99.

    4. A linen pillow cover that immortalizes one of the greatest moments in TV history and that they'll use to rest their head on while they rewatch The Office for the 782nd time this week.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $4.99. Don't forget to grab them a pillow insert, too!

    5. A giant bag of cereal marshmallows that'll save them the trouble of picking out all the non-charms from their Lucky Charms.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $39.99.

    6. Fifty Shades of Chicken — a punishingly good cookbook for sultry poultry lovers.

    Amazon

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $22.66. Also available for Kindle.

    7. A classic box of chocolate, butt! with a twist we can all get behind.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Anuses! The chocolate is shaped like little anuses.

    Get a box of six on Amazon Canada for $11.79.

    8. A pair of deliciously cozy tortilla socks anyone would be happy to wrap themselves up in.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get two pairs on Amazon Canada for $24.99+.

    9. A mermaid sequin pillow case that reveals a national treasure when they pet it.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    It doesn't come with a pillow insert, but you can get one here!

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $13.66.

    10. A pack of cards touting expert advice from the "World's Most Celebrated Felines."

    Amazon

    It comes with 50 advice cards, plus a booklet with information on the cats and how to use the cards.

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $16.08.

    11. A desktop Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy that will bring dance and joy to them every single day.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $11.26. You might also want to throw in this very helpful book filled with life lessons.

    12. A colouring book packed full of farting animals that will help them relax and unwind from a stressful day.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $6.99. Don't forget to add some pencil crayons to your cart to complete the gift!

    13. A cookie shot glass pan set so they can make cookie shot glasses — yes, you heard that right! Motherf#@%ing delicious shot glasses they can eat after they down their milk like the badass you know they are.

    Amazon

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $33.95.

    14. A bag of cotton candy unicorn farts that are as magical as they are delicious.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $25.39.

    15. A risque copy of The Cookie Sutra filled with all the moves that'll make you both crumble.

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $11.50. Also available for Kindle.

    16. This plush monkey tissue dispenser that will make them do a double-take.

    Get it on Amazon Canada for $8.99. Available in five colours.

    17. These urinal shot glasses that really put the word "gag" in "gag gift."

    Amazon / Via amazon.ca

    Get them on Amazon Canada for $15.17.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and your... special someone.

    Fox

    Looking for more Valentine's Day gift guides? Check out super adorable gifts, gifts under $25, and gifts under $50!