Reddit user naxxfish recently asked, "Millennials: What was the most middle-aged thing you caught yourself saying recently?" and I feel personally attacked because I've said at least 90% of these things.
Here are some of the top-voted and best responses:
1. "I can't go out for dinner. I have chicken in the fridge that I have to cook before it goes bad."
2. "Calling a 21-year-old guy a 'kid.'"
3. "It’s 8:30 p.m., a little late to start a movie."
4. "They just don't make them like they used to — with them being stuff like wood dressers."
5. "Why is the music so loud in here?!"
6. "Alcohol makes me sleepy."
7. "Oh, no thank you. I can't have caffeine this late in the day, or I'll never get to sleep tonight."
8. "I had a riveting conversation with some friends about the best office chairs for lumbar support."
9. "In a conversation with a friend, I was telling them how I managed to find a really good knife block recently."
10. "While at Home Depot, I said, 'Oh yeah, that's some good lumber.'"
11. "I have started letting out a classic dad groan when I stand up."
12. "My knees hurt."
13. "That's a nice box; keep it."
14. "I can't fix one thing in my house without at least 15 minutes of complaining about the previous owners' handiwork."
15. "Quit touching the goddamn thermostat; you’re driving the bill up."
16. "Oh babe, check out these New Balances."
17. "Starting sentences with 'when I was your age...' to my 20-year-old coworkers."
18. "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?! 🤦🏼♀️"
19. "I've got to go home and feed my starter."
20. "Let me tell you about my air fryer..."
21. "I’m very disappointed in this credenza from Wayfair."
And finally...
22. "Where's the good stapler?"
Did we miss any? Comment them down below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.