Sometimes our neighbours to the south can be a little abrasive. And this sentiment couldn't be more true for these two feathered on-and-off friends: Douglas the Canada goose and Nathan the bald eagle.*
*We completely made up these names. Sorry to all the Nathans out there!
A violent incident between our two protagonists was caught on camera by Lisa Bell, an amateur photographer from Bowser, British Columbia. And we don't know what exactly happened, because we don't speak bird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but here's what we assume:
Douglas was out for his morning jog, when suddenly and silently his neighbour Nathan attacked from the sky.
Douglas was completely caught off guard. Just a moment ago, he was waddling by the side of his lake listening to his favourite true crime podcast and now he's facedown in the dirt. WHO COULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?
After finally escaping from Nathan's cold clutches, Douglas lifted his beak to the sky and saw his attacker. It was none other than Nathan. Douglas quickly began squawking, trying desperately to assert his dominance.
But when that didn't work, he ran for the water. That's where his strengths lie. That's his home. He wanted to fight, but he wanted it to be on his terms.
Douglas soared over patchy grass. There was a smell in the air. It was the scent of war. Or maybe it was bird poop. It was probably bird poop. Anyway, the battle was on and Nathan wasn't far behind him.
Douglas dove into the water, adrenaline pumping from the tips of his feathers to his tiny bird heart. He knew that he had to end this.
He bowed his neck low to the water and felt a rush of cold water on his bum. He closed his beady eyes and remembered what his ancestors have been doing to defend themselves since the dawn of time. Since the dinosaurs. Douglas began violently hissing. Something took over him. Something ancient. Something haunted. He mustered all of his strength and then...
HE ROSE! HE ROSE LIKE THE TIDES OF THE OCEAN. HE EMERGED FROM THE DEEP, LOOKING FIERCE AS HELL AND LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO NATHAN'S EYES.
And Nathan took off. He was rattled to his core. Witnesses who were on the scene later told reporters they heard Nathan whisper "GIRL, BYE" before he left. He went home to tend to his wounds. To tend to his pride.
And Canada won. Douglas lived on. He lived on to tell another tale. He lived on to poop another day.
