back to top

This Is Why It's Impossible To Open A Box Of Kraft Dinner

And why it's the #1 reason Canadians have trust issues.

Posted on

A crisis has been sweeping this great nation. People are unable to open the delicious beacon of hope that is Kraft Dinner:

It's a six-sided cardboard box. How hard could it be, right?

It usually ends up shredded into pieces because the tab on the box is apparently "too hard" to open:

I knew in my heart that I wanted to, nay, needed to investigate this. If not just for me, then for the Canadian people. We deserve answers.

I went out to get a box of KD and returned home to eat the entire box by myself because there's no way there are 4 "servings" in a single box.

I first inspected the exterior of the box and that's when I saw it. The tab. It's a section of the box that has scoring around it, leading people to assume that if pressure is applied, the tab would be pressed in and the box would open.

That makes sense and is totally logical, right?
Sarah Aspler

That makes sense and is totally logical, right?

Here's a close up:

Sarah Aspler

However, when I inspected the interior the box, all of my deepest fears became a reality. There was no scoring inside.

THE TAB WAS A LIE.

Well, there you have it, folks. We've been playing the fool.
Sarah Aspler

Well, there you have it, folks. We've been playing the fool.

Thanks a lot, KD! Going to go eat my feelings. Now, if only I could open that fucking box.