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Jun 7, 2013

The 25 Most Awesome Things About Being A Server

Everybody should work at least a month in a restaurant before they're allowed to eat in one.

1. Being cheery.

2. Being polite.

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Even if you are not polite in your mind.

3. Heeding every request.

4. Kids.

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"I'm sorry, ma'am; we don't have a children' menu. This is a gastropub."

5. When a table pretends you don't exist.

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"Sir, I believe this is your clam chowder? Sir?"

...

"Sir? I've got your piping hot clam chowder here."

6. When someone doesn't tip for absolutely no reason.

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You can't afford to tip? Don't eat out.

7. How even if a dish looks like this when you drop it off...

This is what it looks like when you pick it back up.

8. Not dropping things.

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You may or may not have had a nightmare that involves a tray of martinis.

9. Finding things in the POS.

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Look at how forced her smile is.

10. Cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning.

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Did I mention cleaning? Because cleaning.

11. Sidework.

12. That even if this is what the front of house looks like:

This is what the back looks like:

13. Chefs.

14. And how they believe if a customer sends something back or wants to modify an order, it is YOUR idea.

But how when something's the kitchen's fault, they're all like:

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"You are right, ma'am, that chicken is raw."

15. That if you don't speak Spanish, you can swear in it.

16. This is your dinner.

17. You eat it standing up.

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And yes, you maybe eat it in the walk in.

18. Your manager.

19. The other servers, too.

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Is there a phrase more evil than "tip pooling"?

20. Especially that one who's letting the job get to her a little too much.

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Though it is fun to bitch about your manager with her.

21. You pay everything, including your rent, in cash.

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Taxes? What's taxes?

22. Though you're uninsured, you do have a good doctor.

23. You rock the sexiest footwear.

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Yes, you've left work and gone out in these bad boys.

24. In all seriousness, though, being a server can be awesome, especially when you've finally closed.

Because nobody parties like people in the service industry.

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In sum:

25. See you Friday at 5.