1. Ladies and gentlemen, please introduce yourself to German model Andre Hamann.
2. As you can tell, he is what scientists would classify as “really, really, ridiculously good-looking.”
3. Men want to be him, and women and EVERYONE wants to be with him.
4. He has abs that only the most accomplished of mountaineers should attempt to climb.
5. We have also heard unconfirmed reports that his hair has been insured for $100,000.*
*We totally made this up, but you believed us for a second, right?
6. His facial hair game is what we call “strong as fuck.”
7. You may want to avert your eyes, because his smoldering stare has been known to cause faintness of the heart, trouble breathing, and even fainting.
8. And his tattoos? They put Da Vinci and Van Gogh to SHAME.
9. Perhaps most important, from our scientific analysis it *APPEARS* as if his face is chiseled from Grecian marble.
10. And even making a silly face couldn’t ruin his ***FLAWLESSNESS.
11. But don’t worry, he cleans up pretty well too.
12. And he’s got that ~bad boy~ edge to him.
13. But don’t worry, also knows his way around the kitchen, because he is #HusbandMaterial.
14. Andre would NEVER let you experience ~summertime sadness.~
15. Oh, and he *CASUALLY* plays the guitar.
16. AND HE IS ANIMAL FRIENDLY.
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