31 Problems Every Hogwarts Student Will Understand

Sometimes being magical can be quite tragical.

1. If you grew up Muggle, it comes as QUITE the shock when you get your acceptance letter.

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2. Then you have to go to Diagon Alley. Shopping there is basically a NIGHTMARE. Why don’t wizards have Amazon?

3. Also, there is always a chance you might end up in Knockturn Alley, which is basically a combination of the mall and HELL.

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4. On the Hogwarts Express, you might OD on sugar from Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Botts Every-Flavored Beans.

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5. And crossing Hogwarts’ lake can get a bit dicey if the weather is bad. At least the giant squid is there to save you!

6. Then if you’re a first-year, The Sorting Hat will make basically the biggest decision of your life. Are you going to be a Gryffindor lunkhead? A Slytherin douchebag? A Hufflepuff dweeb? Or a Ravenclaw smartass?

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7. Seriously, how are you supposed to keep your figure while eating all the food in the Great Hall?

8. Getting a Howler at lunch? Why can’t your mom just text you like a normal Muggle parent?

9. Then you have to deal with classes. If you’re not in Slytherin, you’re TOAST when you have Snape.

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10. And no matter what house you’re in, McGonagall will NOT be impressed.

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11. There’s always the chance you might die during Care of Magical Creatures.

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12. Or a Venomous Tentacula or Mandrake might end you for good in Herbology.

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13. Also, how are you supposed to pass Divination? Does anyone ever know what the HELL is going on in Professor Trelawney’s class?

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14. Worst of all might be Defense Against the Dark Arts. If you’re lucky, you get a werewolf for a professor. On the flip side, you could end up with Lord Voldemort.

15. If Hermione is in your class, good luck. Most of the time, she’ll make you look like a complete doofus.

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16. And Malfoy? He’s the Justin Bieber of Hogwarts, the spoiled brat who will make your life a living hell.

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17. In the hallway, you have to watch out for Filch and Mrs. Norris like your life depends on it.

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18. Peeves. Just, Peeves. No explanation necessary.


19. Finding your way to class is a nightmare. Not only are the staircases like escalators from hell, but you have to watch out for vanishing steps.

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20. If you’re a witch (or maybe even if you’re a wizard) you’ll definitely have your heart broken by Cedric Diggory.

RIP Ced :(

21. And for the wizards, there is always the chance the thirstiest ghost in Hogwarts, Moaning Myrtle, might develop a crush on you.

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22. On Hogsmeade trips, there is always the chance you might bankrupt yourself at Honeydukes or Zonko’s Joke Shop.

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23. And you definitely have to worry about getting a buzz off your Butterbeer addiction.

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24. Making your House’s Quidditch team isn’t an option, it HAS to happen.

25. Two words: Whomping. Willow.

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26. Also, there is casually a murderous patch of trees and killer magical creatures called the Forbidden Forest RIGHT NEXT TO SCHOOL. Charming!

27. But even SCARIER than the Forbidden Forest? The Restricted Section of the library.

28. Most terrifying of all? Finding a date to the Yule Ball. Magical hormones are OUT OF CONTROL.

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29. Then there is the Room of Requirement, which is pretty cool. But good luck finding it!

30. You also have Patronus Anxiety. What if your Patronus is something lame when you finally produce it, like a pigeon or a common housefly???

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31. And last but certainly not least, you always have to worry about one (or both) of the Weasley twins pranking you.

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But any wizard or witch knows spending seven years at the most magical place in the world is TOTALLY worth it.

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Mischief Managed!

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