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41 'Murican Things All American Bros Love

America the Bro-tiful.

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1. Wearing shorts that expose the thigh, like Chubbies.

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2. "Can you pass me the aux cord?"

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4. Being absurdly loyal to a brand of cheap beer.

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7. Lacrosse, and calling it "Lax."

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8. Smoking "Cubans" at special occasions, but they're not actually from Cuba and they don't like the taste.

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11. Not having any clean cups when people come over.

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12. Calling "shotgun" or "shottie." Also, following the rules of shotgun religiously.

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13. Tanks, and specifically the type with arm holes almost to the bottom.

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14. Having really bad posture, especially when they're sitting on their couch checking their phone.

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18. Protein, and having a giant jug of protein powder on top of their refrigerator.

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22. Getting snacks at the gas station.

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23. Driving a car that gets really bad mileage.

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24. Tailgating, shotgunning at tailgates, and cornhole.

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25. Gratuitous "progress" gym selfies.

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26. Posing in group shots with their arms around their friends, chin tilted up, and throwing up some kind of sign.

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27. Playing pranks by the pool and filming them for Vines.

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29. Taking pictures with their "old man," both with beers in hand.

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30. Going boating, or going to the lake.

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31. Eating cereal at totally random times of the day.

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32. The Fat Jewish, Fuck Jerry, and WorldStarHipHop.

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33. Not having the white iPhone.

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34. Calling Coachella "Bro-chella."

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36. Dunking on a basketball hoop that has been lowered to basically head-level.

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39. Peeing in public.

That Moment When Peeing Feels So Good You Start Crying.

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