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41 'Murican Things All American Bros Love

America the Bro-tiful.

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1. Wearing shorts that expose the thigh, like Chubbies.

2. "Can you pass me the aux cord?"

4. Being absurdly loyal to a brand of cheap beer.

7. Lacrosse, and calling it "Lax."

8. Smoking "Cubans" at special occasions, but they're not actually from Cuba and they don't like the taste.

11. Not having any clean cups when people come over.

12. Calling "shotgun" or "shottie." Also, following the rules of shotgun religiously.

13. Tanks, and specifically the type with arm holes almost to the bottom.

14. Having really bad posture, especially when they're sitting on their couch checking their phone.

18. Protein, and having a giant jug of protein powder on top of their refrigerator.

22. Getting snacks at the gas station.

23. Driving a car that gets really bad mileage.

24. Tailgating, shotgunning at tailgates, and cornhole.

25. Gratuitous "progress" gym selfies.

26. Posing in group shots with their arms around their friends, chin tilted up, and throwing up some kind of sign.

27. Playing pranks by the pool and filming them for Vines.

29. Taking pictures with their "old man," both with beers in hand.

30. Going boating, or going to the lake.

31. Eating cereal at totally random times of the day.

32. The Fat Jewish, Fuck Jerry, and WorldStarHipHop.

33. Not having the white iPhone.

34. Calling Coachella "Bro-chella."

36. Dunking on a basketball hoop that has been lowered to basically head-level.

39. Peeing in public.

That Moment When Peeing Feels So Good You Start Crying.