You were IT, You were ON TOP OF THE WORLD!
NOTHING could stop you
Until one day you noticed a change
A horrible change
Something just wasn’t adding up
YOU WERE GOING BALD!
So you had no choice but to get married before it was all gone
So you did
But don’t worry, there are MANY successfull bald people. There is still hope for you!
Even if you aren’t the hair to a throne!
1. You can be the White House Press Secretary
2. You can be a Hollywood movie star!
3. You can be a major league baseball player!
4. You can win fourth place on American Idol!
5. You can be the Dalai Lama!
6. You can be a comedian!
7. You can be Vice President of the United States!
8. You can have a daytime talk show!
9. You can be Hulk Hogan!
10. You can start the world’s largest retailer!
11. You can run a major television network!
12. You can put a carpet on your head!
13. You can create Seinfeld!
14. You can run Goldman Sachs!
15. You can run a successful chain of movie theaters!
16. You can create a show like Mad Men!
17. You can be the greatest basketball player of all time!
18. The NBA even allows bald spots!
19. You can be an actor!
20. You can be referred to as “Sir”!
21. You can be allowed to say fuck as much as you want!
22. You can be a mega-billionaire!
23. You can be a chef!
24. You can be in Fast and the Furious 6!
25. Last but not least, you can be the next Donald Trump!
Now go out there and make me proud!!
- "We can never apologize enough." United released its report on the plane dragging accident, and outlined changes it'll make to prevent similar incidents.
- Republicans have breathed new life into their once dead Obamacare replacement and it may be enough to get the bill through the House.
- Sebastian Gorka couldn't make it as a national security expert in Hungary, but that's not stopping him from advising President Trump.
- People are calling the Trump administration's new "criminal alien" hotline to report how they've been victimized by space aliens 👽☎️