You were IT, You were ON TOP OF THE WORLD!
NOTHING could stop you
Until one day you noticed a change
A horrible change
Something just wasn’t adding up
YOU WERE GOING BALD!
So you had no choice but to get married before it was all gone
So you did
But don’t worry, there are MANY successfull bald people. There is still hope for you!
Even if you aren’t the hair to a throne!
1. You can be the White House Press Secretary
2. You can be a Hollywood movie star!
3. You can be a major league baseball player!
4. You can win fourth place on American Idol!
5. You can be the Dalai Lama!
6. You can be a comedian!
7. You can be Vice President of the United States!
8. You can have a daytime talk show!
9. You can be Hulk Hogan!
10. You can start the world’s largest retailer!
11. You can run a major television network!
12. You can put a carpet on your head!
13. You can create Seinfeld!
14. You can run Goldman Sachs!
15. You can run a successful chain of movie theaters!
16. You can create a show like Mad Men!
17. You can be the greatest basketball player of all time!
18. The NBA even allows bald spots!
19. You can be an actor!
20. You can be referred to as “Sir”!
21. You can be allowed to say fuck as much as you want!
22. You can be a mega-billionaire!
23. You can be a chef!
24. You can be in Fast and the Furious 6!
25. Last but not least, you can be the next Donald Trump!
Now go out there and make me proud!!
- The Clinton campaign is trying to stop television stations from running a pro-Trump ad featuring Michelle Obama.
- A group of UK Uber drivers have won the right to minimum wage in a case that could have huge implications for the "gig economy" 🚘
- A federal jury cleared the leaders of an Oregon standoff. The militia group took over a wildlife refuge last January.
- RIP — Vine says it's discontinuing its mobile app, effectively ending the 6-second video service 💀