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Here's A Liveblog Of Super Bowl XLIX From My Mom

I'm assuming this is also how it's going in your house right now.

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Oh, he's cute! What does he do?

Lucy Nicholson / Reuters

That coin toss seems so stressful. It's all left up to chance!

She did a lovely job! I can't wait for the Frozen sequel.

Kyle Terada/Usa Today Sports

I know people get all riled up during this game, but honestly, it's pretty amazing to see so many fans together in one place, period. I love that they care!

They just look so happy! I wish everyone the best of luck, truly.

Brian Snyder / Reuters

Oh no! I hate when they mess up, even a little bit. I just feel like it really gets in their heads, y'know?

MOMDATE

Wow, is it just me, or did the first quarter go by really fast? We're not even done eating these meatballs yet.

MOMDATE

Oh jeez. Animals in commercials will get me every. time. No matter what they're for.

MOMDATE

Why can't we all get touchdowns all the time?! IT LOOKS LIKE SUCH A MOOD BOOSTER. Every DAY should be a touchdown celebration.

This game is always about a lot of sitting and a lot of butts, I've noticed.

Andrew Weber/Usa Today Sports

MOMDATE

Y'know what I've always wondered? How do the referees manage to not get injured? It doesn't make any sense.

MOMDATE

Oh, a commercial for avocados came on while we were eating guacamole! How funny!

MOMDATE

Also, how come we measure football fields in yards? Isn't that the metric system? We've gotta keep stuff the same.

MOMDATE

Could you pass the Kleenex? These commercials about dads are really messing with me. Go hug your father, right now.

MOMDATE

Just think! Years ago, these were all just kids playing catch with their buddies. And now look at them. Throwing the ball SO FAR and getting hit SO HARD. You just never know what'll happen when your kids are still young.

I'm glad Lenny Kravitz is doing something. I was starting to get worried about him.

Mike Blake / Reuters

MOMDATE

Taking time outs this close to the end of the half makes no sense. Is there a contact form for these teams? I'd like to tell them this so that they'll learn something.

MOMDATE

The last few seconds are always so exciting! Anything can happen, like, basically! SEE?! EVEN LIKE A TOUCHDOWN AT NEARLY THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT. SPORTS ARE INCREDIBLE.

MOMDATE

You KNOW all those boys are going to be peeing up a storm in there. What else do you do during halftime? Meditation? No, you've gotta just pee like the whole time.

Katy Perry is always so dramatic, but usually in a fun way. This is so elaborate!

MOMDATE

That halftime show had too many colors.

MOMDATE

Alright! Back to the sports part! I love the last names on these guys. Really a snapshot of American life.

Every time they talk about the player Chris Matthews, I think of this news guy:

MOMDATE

I wonder if they get massages all the time. It seems like they're so hard on their bodies.

MOMDATE

Being a football coach must require a large amount of zen. Otherwise, a lot of stress medication, I'd assume. Your boys are out there risking life and limb, man. Also, this wine spritzer is delicious, yes.

MOMDATE

I appreciate these car commercials trying to tell me to be considerate of the environment, truly. It's a noble cause, regardless of who's giving the message.

MOMDATE

I wonder what Lenny Kravitz is doing now.

The said "#poopdown" in front of me at #SB49.

Jordan Stead@jordanbsteadFollow

The said "#poopdown" in front of me at #SB49.

8:57 PM - 01 Feb 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

MOMDATE

Here are some football-shaped cupcakes. I'm going to bed. For the record, I'm predicting that Seattle will win with 40 points. That sounds reasonable. Also, I mostly wish it would end in a tie.

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