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Here's A Liveblog Of Super Bowl XLIX From My Mom

I'm assuming this is also how it's going in your house right now.

Oh, he's cute! What does he do?

That coin toss seems so stressful. It's all left up to chance!

She did a lovely job! I can't wait for the Frozen sequel.

I know people get all riled up during this game, but honestly, it's pretty amazing to see so many fans together in one place, period. I love that they care!

They just look so happy! I wish everyone the best of luck, truly.

Oh no! I hate when they mess up, even a little bit. I just feel like it really gets in their heads, y'know?

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Wow, is it just me, or did the first quarter go by really fast? We're not even done eating these meatballs yet.

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Oh jeez. Animals in commercials will get me every. time. No matter what they're for.

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Why can't we all get touchdowns all the time?! IT LOOKS LIKE SUCH A MOOD BOOSTER. Every DAY should be a touchdown celebration.

This game is always about a lot of sitting and a lot of butts, I've noticed.

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Y'know what I've always wondered? How do the referees manage to not get injured? It doesn't make any sense.

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Oh, a commercial for avocados came on while we were eating guacamole! How funny!

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Also, how come we measure football fields in yards? Isn't that the metric system? We've gotta keep stuff the same.

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Could you pass the Kleenex? These commercials about dads are really messing with me. Go hug your father, right now.

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Just think! Years ago, these were all just kids playing catch with their buddies. And now look at them. Throwing the ball SO FAR and getting hit SO HARD. You just never know what'll happen when your kids are still young.

I'm glad Lenny Kravitz is doing something. I was starting to get worried about him.

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Taking time outs this close to the end of the half makes no sense. Is there a contact form for these teams? I'd like to tell them this so that they'll learn something.

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The last few seconds are always so exciting! Anything can happen, like, basically! SEE?! EVEN LIKE A TOUCHDOWN AT NEARLY THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT. SPORTS ARE INCREDIBLE.

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You KNOW all those boys are going to be peeing up a storm in there. What else do you do during halftime? Meditation? No, you've gotta just pee like the whole time.

Katy Perry is always so dramatic, but usually in a fun way. This is so elaborate!

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That halftime show had too many colors.

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Alright! Back to the sports part! I love the last names on these guys. Really a snapshot of American life.

Every time they talk about the player Chris Matthews, I think of this news guy:

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I wonder if they get massages all the time. It seems like they're so hard on their bodies.

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Being a football coach must require a large amount of zen. Otherwise, a lot of stress medication, I'd assume. Your boys are out there risking life and limb, man. Also, this wine spritzer is delicious, yes.

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I appreciate these car commercials trying to tell me to be considerate of the environment, truly. It's a noble cause, regardless of who's giving the message.

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I wonder what Lenny Kravitz is doing now.

The said "#poopdown" in front of me at #SB49.

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Here are some football-shaped cupcakes. I'm going to bed. For the record, I'm predicting that Seattle will win with 40 points. That sounds reasonable. Also, I mostly wish it would end in a tie.