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36 Theories I Have About Dads

Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

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1. Everyone's dad went through a mustache phase at some point.

2. Dads invented putting chips on sandwiches.

3. They wear bowling or Hawaiian shirts, whether or not they actually like them.

4. They hand write notes in all capital letters.

5. Their cars are tuned to a classic rock station almost 24/7.

6. Each dad has a signature recipe, and it's probably for a sauce.

7. Dads wear New Balance sneakers almost exclusively.

8. They actually use the pockets on their cargo shorts.

HAHAHA MY DAD IS SO CUTE even with his unbearably ugly denim cargo shorts

Danielle Mcgrew@dmcgrew4

HAHAHA MY DAD IS SO CUTE even with his unbearably ugly denim cargo shorts

9:17 PM - 04 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. Dads love using cell phone holsters.

10. They read magazines waaaaay more often than they read books.

11. Dads really like TV shows that have laugh tracks in the background...

12. ...or just NCIS.

13. They've seen the entire Bourne series multiple times on TV.

14. Dads must use a special version of YouTube that only shows videos that are at least a year old.

15. They love the comedy stylings of one Jeff Dunham.


16. Dads love going grocery shopping...

17. ...even if they rarely stick to the actual list.

18. Everyone's dad has broken his collarbone at some point in his youth.

19. Dads may never fully trust you when it comes to controlling the grill.

20. They all (should) wear glasses.

21. They might only know about a few fancy spices, but they definitely know when to use them.

22. Every dad owns many ties from before you were born.

23. Dads secretly cried during Harry Potter, regardless if it was the book series or the movie franchise.

24. They might still watch Saturday morning cartoons, just because.

25. Dads always have a pen on hand.

26. They know, in detail, the differences in the varieties of Christmas trees.

27. They'd like to own a fishing boat, even if they don't know how to fish.

28. Dads haven't watched anything on MTV in 20 years...

29. ...unless it's playing the Bourne series.


30. Dads love shopping at Target, and they don't even mind going to Walmart.

31. They've gotta hold the remote whenever they're in front of the television.

32. They always forget to put on enough sunscreen...

33. ...or they put on way too much and end up more pale than when they started.

34. Dads could probably live off snacks instead of real meals forever.

35. Their favorite Looney Tunes character is definitely Marvin the Martian.

36. Dads love having fun with their number one kid, you!