Shannon Davis was "super stoked" to spend the beautiful spring day roaming around SoHo, New York City's hip shopping village with her best friends. The beautiful spring day intended for a fun day of shopping quickly turned into a particularly awful day of shopping when Shannon remembered she has never enjoyed hanging out with her friends. Nope, not even once.
"I totally forgot that I actually hate all of my friends, " Admits an embarrassed Shannon Davis, "Shit I really just always forget how much they suck. Shit."
Shannon and her four friends met during freshman orientation at a small liberal arts college in Pennsylvania back in 2005.
"Oh my god the five of us are literally inseparable and as close as can be, "Said one of the four horrible girls, "We are exactly like sisters but we're sisters who would also be friends because we're also basically sisters. You know?"
While shopping, the four girls gabbed about how great avocados are for some "dumb fucking reason" says Davis, and repeatedly walked in a straight line down the sidewalk, forcing Davis to follow closely behind by herself at an awkwardly close distance. "They always fucking do this. They link arms and talk about avocados and I get stuck walking behind them. Plus all four of them look exactly the same. It's like four Kristen Stewarts linking arms to create a skinny wall of annoying bones."
The close-knit group of friends was discussing which fruit was most like their body-type when Shannon accidentally said "Oh my god. Who cares?" out loud, causing the four girls to get very quiet and make sarcastic eye contact with each other until one of them spotted a cute baby.
To break the tension, Davis simply reminded them that she's "deathly allergic to avocado" leading the girls to immediately embrace Davis in a loving sympathy hug coupled with murmurs of "Oh my gosh I am like, so sorry for you" and "I still can't believe God would do that to you."
"I really really really really hate all four of them," said Davis while blankly staring into the fall sunset, "But I'll probably keep hanging out with them because they always tell me how pretty I am."
Davis refused the claim that she has no other friends.
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