We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community what they wish they had known about queer sex before they had it.
Here's what they said. (And FYI, a lot of these apply to all sex-having humans, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.)
1. Don't be afraid to tell someone exactly what you want.
2. When it comes to trying sex toys, start small.
3. And use (way) more lube.
4. Take it slow so you can really enjoy your partner.
5. "Queer sex does not have to resemble heterosexual sex to be valid."
6. Consent can be hot.
7. If you're nervous, let your partner know.
8. Most porn probably isn't that realistic.
9. But porn by and for LGBTQ people: 👍
"Don't try and watch porn fetishizing your identity for straight people and assume that's how sex is supposed to be...If you really want to watch porn to get pointers I can give you one bit of solid advice: Watch porn made by LGBTQ people FOR LGBTQ people. It will make all the difference in the world and maybe something will click for you."
—Alexandria Danielle Horner, Facebook
10. "It's okay to not like certain things during sex."
11. It's okay to be asexual or demisexual.
12. One word: foreplay.
13. Embarrassing (and noisy) bodily functions do happen.
14. "You can have sex before you are in a relationship. That's it."
15. Keep your fingernails trimmed.
16. It's also okay if you don't want to have sex.
17. "Breathe through your mouth while giving cunnilingus."
18. Just because you're butch, it doesn't mean you always have to top or shouldn't enjoy penetration.
19. There's nothing shameful or wrong with wanting to bottom.
20. "ALWAYS use protection. Safe sex is better than putting yourself at risk."
21. No always means no, even to your partner.
22. Let yourself have an orgasm.
23. Remember the clit.
24. Take some time to clean up, particularly if you’re going to be rimmed/rimming/having anal sex.
25. Use a butt plug to prep for anal sex.
26. And you are the only person who gets to define your sexuality.
Responses have been edited for clarity and/or length.