1.
[Going to Starbucks for the first time] *Ok be calm and ask for a Tall Latte as practised* [a little later] 'Hi can I have Lall Tatte?'
2.
*At the Aladdin audition* Me: I'm going to sing. Casting: Go for it! Me: GENIE MERA DIL LUTIYA OHO! Casting: Please get out.
3.
Incase you haven't understood GST yet. Mahendra Singh Dhoni will clear it out.
4.
"Hum yahaan haare huye states jeet rahe hain, tu jeeta hua haar gaya?"
5.
Priyanka Chopra: Get my Khakee Assistant: What? P: My khakee, khaakee... A: But you're already wearing it P: Gaadi ki chaabi la bhosadi ke.
6.
Client - Your work is not good Me - Give me 7 days to fix it Client - I can't Me- Aapne Congress ko 60 saal diye, mujhe sirf 7 din dijiye
7.
why does blac chyna look like she's about to call rahul a cheater
8.
In school, I wanted to be the class monitor so that no one checks my dirty shoes and long nails. Some people join politics for same reasons.
9.
Don’t know why some people are spreading propaganda against India by dying when they are lynched.
10.
*Batman points to his car* "That's the Batmobile" *points to his cave* "That's the Batcave" *points to his wallet* "That's the Batua"
11.
Sachin in commentary "Kohli hits ball out of the ground for a six & it almost reaches a hall which is showing my film. Dont miss" #INDvPAK
12.
Spoke to my ex after 10 years. “Miss or Mrs.?” he asked. Me:
13.
Two die hard SRK fans watching Jab Harry Met Sejal. #JHMS
14.
When love knows no bounds.
15.
Finally revealed: Kendall Jenner had come to India for her lower back pain treatment.
16.
1997: ewww why is your food so yellow eww whats in that gross.. 2017: omg have u tried tumeric?? Its like organiccccc ughhh omg love it
17.
This is the 3rd time I'm removing malai from my chai and it's getting out of hand now.
18.
There are 3 kinds of people in India: 1. Nationals 2. Anti Nationals 3. People outside Delhi who have real jobs to do.
19.
Remember that kid meme? You'd be amazed what he looks like now... #indvaus
20.
I don't understand why farmers are protesting on roads when they can reach the PM via Kisan Suvidha app while sipping coffee at Starbucks.
21.
Hehe who did this
22.
Apparently Kapil got drunk & humiliated the rest of the cast. Had it been recorded, it would've been just another episode of his show!
23.
[first date] she: i'm a cat person me, trying to impress: *pushes her phone off the table*
24.
Guy 1: Yaar attended Bieber's show. Not worth 75K. Bad headache now. Guy 2: Doctor dikha le. G1: Nahi yaar. Crocin de de. Doctor loot lega.
25.
Feeling mildly jealous of Sonu Nigam. 1. He has a terrific voice. 2. He stood by his statement. 3. His hair will grow back in a month.
26.
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm thoroughly enjoying "Selfie Maine Leli Aaj" by Dhinchak Pooja.
27.
28.
Man this must be the biggest plot twist in Indian television 😂😂😂
29.
30.
1. How Rahul Gandhi sees Rahul Gandhi 2. How Congress sees Rahul Gandhi 3. How world sees Rahul Gandhi
31.
Saif got national award for Hum Tum when Sharmila was Chairperson of Censor Board!He is right when he says it's all abt genes,not Nepotism!😂