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Calculation went wrong 😭
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What do you mean it's not working out? What are you, a Goa plan?
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Hollywood - And the Oscar goes to Bollywood - And the Sansui Colors Stardust Pan Parag Amba TMT Saria AsliMasaleSachSachMDHMDH Award goes to
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Aage kya socha hai Akash?
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Me: Brad and Angelina are getting divorced. Mom: Aur karo love marriage.
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This is one of the most fulfilling relationships I've had in in my life
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Background mein dono Kaho Na Pyaar hai step Kar rahe hai
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My thoughts on the #2016PresidentElection #Election2016
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[Interview] Me: May I come in? Interviewer: Yes. Make yourself comfortable. Me: Aur bata gandu kya chal ra aaj kal
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AC repair guys want me to specify the fault to register an online complaint but I can't find an option that says gad gad aawaz aa rahi hai
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white parents vs desi parents
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If @ajaydevgn was a bird.
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3 stages of having a crush 1. Staring at her 2. Thinking about her 3. Stalking her profile on social media
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Matt Damon would have been rescued a lot earlier from Mars if he contacted Sushma Swaraj instead of NASA.
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When you are trying to concentrate, but guys in the back sing 'Keh do na Keh do na, You are my Sonia'.
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What you order online and what you receive
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Aman didn't die for you to marry this gora NAINA
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Randeep Hooda auditioning for both chairs in Pretentious Movie Reviews.
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Unlike Twitter, LinkedIn is full of positivity. People whom I have never worked with are endorsing me for the skills that I don't possess.
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Finally, NASA has released recent image of India.
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*Crowd waiting for Coldplay* *Lights go out* *Modi appears* "Mitron. SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKAS!!!!" *An ATM on stage.* *Crowd goes wild.*
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Bae: Come over. Dravid: Can't, I am batting. Bae: No one's home. Dravid: STFU I AM BATTING
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when mom is yelling at you but she kinda has a point
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amity university students poore time aise hi khade rehte hain kya background me? 😂😂
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ATM is 2km away from the house but the queue has reached my doorstop. Can't go out now. Logo ko lagega line tod raha hai fir marenge merko
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Me : *finally settles into bed* Bladder :
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[Zombie Apocalypse in India] Zombie 1 - Lets eat people. Zombie 2 - I am a vegetarian. Zombie 3 - Bhai mein toh Jain hun.
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Last time when someone called me hot was when I was blocking a bengali girl's way in a metro.
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Iss Rajiv Chowk metro ki bheed me do judwe Bhai ek doosre ko dhoondte hue...
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Nobody is more fucked right now than an NRI Hillary supporter with a lot of black money stashed in Delhi where his family is living in smog.
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Does the 2k note also come with dual sim and 8 mp camera?
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Life's become a saree store. People enter, do timepass, leave just like that & I spend the rest of my life re-packing & cleaning up the mess
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"Tum saala ghulam log hamari jooti ke neeche hi rahega"
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Bc MCQ me bhi is se zada choices hoti hai
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•Having Food in Restaurant. Tax: Bhai akele akele? •Watching a Movie. Tax: Bhai akele akele? •Having a drink. Tax: Bhai akele akele?
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*before sex* Ratan : are you ready, baby? Girlfriend :
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You vs the girl he tells you not to worry about
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Right-Wing: "If you don't like India, go to Pakistan." Kashmiris: "Ok...going." R-W: "Oye...not you!"
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When you realize that even Google doesn't recognize you
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Read from bottom to top. That's the saddest story I've read on a fake Facebook profile.
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When you give up on your day job long ago and now just daring your boss to fire you
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Sometimes you try to crank out all ice cubes from the tray and 3 of them hold hands and refuse to budge like "JAYENGE TOH SAB SAATH MEIN"
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Idli sambar Vada sambar Plain dosa Masala dosa Set dosa Paper dosa Lemon rice Curd rice Sambar rice. ......
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Funniest is when a female character in a saas-bahu serial says "Mai tayyaar hoke aati hoon" Behen, aur tayyar hogi toh yudh pe jaana padega
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Client: There's this misconception that people in UP can't speak English. Agency: Say no more.
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Only in Gurgaon would Sunset Boulevard lead to Kachra Chowk.
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Things you get to read in Chennai.
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[patient has headache/cancer/AIDS] Relative: Dawa ? 70's Bollywood Doc: Aap inhe lekar kuch dinon ke liye kisi hill-station pe chale jaaiye
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Top Ramen ka Bhai
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A group of relatives is called an interrogation.
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Q. What type of stories do dads tell? A. Jab mein tumhari age katha
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"Bhaisaab, deposit karna hai ki withdraw?" "Neither." "Line mein kyun khade ho?" "Main desh ke liye kuch karna chahta hoon."
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End of an era with Arnab quitting Times Now. I shall observe one minute noise to mark the occasion.
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If WWE ever tours Kanpur, India.
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"Tum bech ke ghar apna, meri Jeep Hummer kar do."- Jagjit Singh asking for dowry
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*Uber driver reaches girlfriend's elbow* Uber Driver: Haanji main clitoris pe aa gaya hoon.
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[Domino's] Me: 2 extra chilli flakes dena Delivery Guy: 5 lijiye sir 2 se kya hota hai Me: 2 oregano dena DG: Meri laash par se guzarna hoga
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How they treat you at government offices
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When waiter asks, "Bill kaun dega?"
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Now waiting for movies like Raaz 6, Raaz 6s, Hate Story 6s+
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I have a feeling that the reasons given by Aamir to Rani for going to Khandala weren't very honest.
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Bollywood meeting Royal Couple "Why are you so famous?" "Well I guess my family is famous so me also" "Me also" "Me also" "Same" "Main bhi"
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[Inferno trailer] Tom Hanks: "We've got to save the world" Irrfan Khan: "Jo Syska LED nahi lagate woh savings ki kya baat karenge"
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Hi Priya SANGHI! Ha main AAPTARD! Magar wo CONGI! Suno to PRESSTITUTE! Tumne to SICKULAR! Lekin main MISOGYNIST! Kabse ke BHAKT! #twttr2016
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When mom says dont walk abhi poucha lagaya hai.
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Literally every place in Pune is a joke.
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My attitude towards most things in life in one GIF
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"This guy quit his job to travel the world and then he realised that he has an Indian passport"
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Why subtitles? WHAAAAY?
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When you live alone with your husband & your father-in-law gives a surprise visit..
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Peak game.
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Students: Ma'am ab toh baithne do, 1 ghanta ho gaya khade hue. Teacher: Chup chap seedhe khade raho Students:
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Lara's face Lara: OMG I just swallowed saltwater! Im going to hurl! Director: Keep acting! Lara: Oh, the passion!
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Zucchini being sold in Delhi under some 'other' name. 😂
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Texted 'Get well soon' to a guy who's in coma and 'Happy birthday' to my crush. The guy replied 'Thanks'
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Melania Trump constantly looks like she's seen you somewhere but can't remember where.
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*Year is 2050* *Elon Musk has completed the colonization of Mars* Guy:"Hi, I want a flat on Mars" Broker:"Bachelors Not allowed".
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They forgot to add the Saali Bhookhi tax
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Just realised that 'Tu Hai' from Mohenjo Daro is basically a song where everyone's wearing a Snapchat filter.
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I don't know what Priyanka Chopra has told this baby but it seems his world has been rocked irrevocably
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Coke Studio
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I know it's 10 years too late but here.
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[Every Ranbir Kapoor movie poster shoot.] DIRECTOR: "Pretend that Ranbir cracked a hilarious joke!"
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NASA streaming live from space on fb. Indians tho... 😂
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Let me clarify to avoid anymore panic: Old 500/1000 notes: Illegal but tender Paneer: Legal but not tender Beef steak: Tender but not legal
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"You're under arrest, apne haath upar kar lo" "Pehle promise karo gudgudi nahi karoge"
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When you've spent your entire life sitting on the 4th seat in local train...😢😢😢
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How to spot a rich desi in Toronto:
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Interviewer: What are your strengths? Me:
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Curiosity has no limits.