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    20 Extra-As-Fuck Inventions For People Who Are Extra As Fuck

    You are what you buy. Special thanks to @inventions.

    1. Wake up to the sound of the most extra alarm clock in existence, because you know what they say: Simulated gunfire is the perfect start to any day!

    2. Get out of your bird’s nest bed, which allows you to wake up feeling like a beautiful crow each morning!

    3. Actually, maybe you wake up in your eggceptionally eggstra egg of relaxation.

    4. Either way, hop in the shower for a nice tanning sesh that definitely won't cause health and safety issues!

    5. And there’s this nozzle for those who want to create a water fountain/rinsing station in their bathroom.

    6. Getting ready is too easy with this ironing board that doubles as a mirror!

    7. For breakfast, break out this toaster, which will ensure your toast has a nice view.

    8. Then enjoy a nice cup of coffee that charges your phone and poses absolutely no electrical hazards.

    9. Time to bring your extravagance to the real world. Don’t worry if you’re incapable of holding something while it rains because there’s this:

    10. Or if you’re someone who physically needs to eat every two hours to survive, you have your pizza slice carrier, which will not cause people to give you concerned looks.

    11. And with these stickers, you can pretend you're engaged and listening while you take a snooze!

    12. Or pseudo-social with this selfie stick.

    13. It’s time for some you time. Maybe head to the nearest body of water and break out your sturdy hammock-raft hybrid.

    14. Or stay home and take a load off in this totally comfortable, not-dangerous-at-all hammock.

    15. Or just play a nice game of pool at this table that no one would call you a douche for owning.

    16. Use this to achieve the perfect sip. Krazy Straws are shook.

    17. Now for dinner. You can use this to avoid the peril of chopping onions:

    18. And for dessert, you KNOW you’ve got ice cream on lock in the freezer.

    19. Devour your ice cream as you watch TV on the couch, flipping through channels with your wand.

    20. And, finally, end the night by treating yourself to a relaxing, closed-off bath that you definitely won’t drown in!

    One item in this post has been removed to reflect BuzzFeed's editorial standards.

    UPDATE: One item in this post has been removed to reflect BuzzFeed's editorial standards.