On Friday, Reddit user u/horridhollowhead asked women, "What is some internalized misogyny you have to continuously remind yourself to unlearn?" They came through with some spot-on examples.
Here's what they said:
1. "That other women aren't my competition."
2. "The 'not like the other girls' trope. I'm just like other women, and I like most of them."
3. "The hatred of hair armpits in pictures. I don't know if I’ll ever unlearn this one. I just hate how it looks on me."
4. "Saying 'son of a bitch' to insult a guy. Like seriously, if I want to hurt him, why I’m insulting his mother? If I say 'bastard,' well, it means that his mom cheated on his father. Crazy how so many slurs are related to women."
5. "Referring to women in their 20s and 30s (including myself) as 'girls.'"
6. "Formerly raised Christian woman here: slut-shaming. I'm much better about it now, but basically I had to learn to not judge a promiscuous woman's character."
7. "That my worth and existence as a woman aren't entirely decided by my appearance. I don't need to achieve a standard of prettiness before I'm worthy of respect, love, and self-confidence."
8. "That my value as a human being won't suddenly disappear the second I turn 30. Even though on average, women spend 65 years of our lives as an adult, we're only considered 'young enough' for 12 of them."
9. "That women who do makeup, nails, or pay attention to the way they look are not shallow or self-conceited. 'Girly' should not be an insult."
10. "That I don't need to be 'sweet' all the time. I was always so scared of being perceived as rough or mean. I felt that I needed to be nice all the time, like a Disney princess, and never be bothered by anything ever. And never swear because 'ladies don't do that.'"
11. "Women who post sexy stuff on the internet are not necessarily doing it for attention or validation. I'm so judgmental of that sometimes, and I really hate myself for it."
12. "That sex is not something women give to men, but something BOTH parties should enjoy."
13. "I had to unlearn that when someone talks about a doctor, I shouldn't immediately picture a man."
14. "That I don't get along better with men. They get along better with me because they have incentive to do so."
And lastly:
15. "Calling people 'pussies' as a sign of weakness. Pussies are actually very resilient and strong."
Did they miss any examples of internalized misogyny that need to be unlearned? Let me know in the comments below!
Responses edited for length/clarity.