Here are some funny tweets from this weekend for anyone who might need a laugh, a distraction, or just something light to read. Enjoy and stay safe.
Be sure to follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline.
1.
English teachers to their favorite students
2.
Ok I’m on the way to the hospital for them to induce me into labor! They said eat a good breakfast because “once you’re here we will NOT feed you.” hoping diet coke and cheese puffs count
3.
He’s fighting for his life in there https://t.co/cDS6i8FZIq
4.
Understated Indian dad reaction
Context: Megha Rajagopalan had just won a Pulitzer.
5.
my girlfriend has an exfoliating brush i used in the shower today and it turns out girls have just been sanding themselves like an old table
6.
Thinking about the first time I ever clicked the “interested in women” setting on Bumble and the first person it showed me was my therapist
7.
New York is back…I know this bc I feel toxic and horrible
8.
Gurl, same.
9.
Deleting dating apps so I can find love the old fashioned way (being locked in a tower until an ogre and his donkey come and rescue me)
10.
survivor season 41 looks SO good
11.
would love to stay in tonight & watch a movie. maybe order some dumplings. just take it easy. unfooooortunately, that would feel like "wasting my 20's" and "missing out on life" so i will instead stop by three parties in opposite parts of town one of which i need a costume for <3
12.
Is your child texting about critical race theory?
Context: Conservatives are trying to get critical race theory banned from being taught in schools, so now it's a meme.
13.
“You’re so funny” thanks I was ugly growing up
14.
when new music leeks >>>> https://t.co/0nhTYSSLcT
15.
Last night I kept saying “THIS WINE TASTES LIKE OLIVE OIL” and this morning it would appear that the bottle I was drinking from, was in fact, olive oil. Bye.
16.
fuck u ice cream man i know you saw me
17.
this is still so funny
18.
IT IS FRIDAY!!