Here are some funny tweets from this weekend for anyone who might need a laugh, a distraction, or just something light to read. Enjoy and stay safe.
Be sure to follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline.
1.
i’ve earned the right to leave LA because I’ve dated an unemployed actor, an unemployed musician, and an unemployed comedian. father son holy ghost
2.
could really use another $1400 from the govt rn...no need to shut down the country and all that like it can be a chill lowkey thing
4.
when im watching true crime videos and they say the date@the body was found im like. no…. not a tuesday
5.
“Banger tweet” from my bf
7.
*posts nude* “A little something for the TL😘” ‘342 dislikes’
(Twitter might roll out a dislike button, apparently.)
8.
i recently auditioned for a role that had a locker room scene w/ nudity, but they offered the option of a prosthetic. it'd be funny if i was the only one who chose the fake dick. i'm like "hey fellas, 4 hours in the penis makeup chair, am i right? yikes!" everyone's like "what?"
9.
Wendy Williams will straight up be like “So Jane Doe was out last night *turns to photo* Gorgeous legs but I’m not loving the outfit. Clap if you like it. Yeah yeah. On her way home the car swerved and she died. Yeah aww. Usher was also at that club with a mystery lady on his arm
10.
“Are you ok?” My body’s check engine light has been on since I was 14 please don’t ask me that
11.
if you close your eyes and press on them, that's what space looks like and you've saved yourself millions of dollars
12.
Imagine your in space and you really want iced coffee.. not worth it
13.
The heat was so much last night I got out my bed and stood there with my hands on my hips
14.
I wanna drink from the hair salon French press
15.
I just love how the Italian players always italian so hard
16.
My daughter made $110 on her lemonade stand today, in like an hour. Turned out people were handing her $5s and $10s and she was just assertively saying thank you for the tip, and not offering change.