Here are some funny tweets from this weekend for anyone who might need a laugh, a distraction, or just something light to read. Enjoy and stay safe.
Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ timeline.
1.
y=mx+b jokes are great but at some point we'll have to draw the line
2.
imagine how long it takes for smells to reach his brain
3.
That crunch gave me chills
4.
a kid will be like “bxbdjsisjndbdhixnd” & everybody else is like “??????” & the mom is just like “okay just give me one second & i’ll go get your cookies.”
5.
everyone’s always like “omg new yorkers are so rude” but one time a guy held a knife to my throat to rob me while I was unlocking my front door and I asked “can I at least keep my ID” and he was like “OK ya”
6.
WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO RELATE TO A TAYLOR SWIFT SONG I MEANT LOVER NOT MIRRORBALL
7.
good evening, clarice
8.
Ever walk into a room and forget what man's purpose on Earth is?
9.
Just took my appetizer ibuprofen.
10.
is it weird that I completely understand the impulse to do this https://t.co/5VmG9T4UTq
11.
“im just vibing” you have not eaten a vegetable in 17 days
12.
I had a joke about invisible ink, but it didn't look good on paper
13.
Friend: I got a promotion. Me: I slept a full 8 hours without having to get up to pee.
14.
people in LA will just run through the middle of the street right in front of your car. y’all need to be more careful because i’m texting and driving.
15.
Give me the Johnson & Johnson 72% efficacy vaccine. I respect coming in late with a C minus.
16.
me fulfilling my rich auntie duties wit all my friend’s kids