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Posted on Jun 23, 2021

People Are Sharing Things People Say That Are Biiig Red Flags, Usually To Trick Or Deceive You

Never trust people who always use absolutes when talking.

by Ryan Schocket

BuzzFeed Staff

On Tuesday, Reddit user u/neilnelly asked people, "What is something subtle people say that is a red flag to you?" People came through with some truly useful examples of things people will say that are usually to trick, manipulate, or deceive you.

An image of co-workers sitting around a table in an office

Here's what they shared:

1. "When they never ask a question when you're telling them something. My husband realized his father never does this, and now I can’t stop listening for this."

—u/foofoofoobears

2. "When they say, 'But you're so good at it!' That's them saying, 'I'll compliment you in the hope that you'll take this task off my hands.'"

—u/amelie_v

3. “When they say, 'OK, fine. I’m sorry. Happy?' That’s not an apology."

—u/Celq124

A woman arguing with a man who appears not to be listening

4. "Or, if they say, 'I’m the worst person ever' in their apology. Then their 'apology' turns into you assuring them and ignoring whatever they did that hurt you."

—u/lissalissa3

5. "When a mom says, 'I try to be more like my kids’ friend than their mom.' You need to wait around 20 years to do the best friend thing. My mom made sure I was home on time, went to school, got good grades, didn't swear, went to university, and all the other great mom stuff that was annoying when I was young. Now, she is my absolute best friend by far."

—u/holyurushiol, u/bugbugladybug

6. "Non-apologies: 'I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.'"

—u/SelfDiagnosedUnicorn

7. "When people say things like, 'I can say and do whatever I want. It’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?' in order to justify shitty things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say."

—u/87319496

8. "When they say, 'I’m brutally honest' or some other excuse to be an unbearable person."

—u/mywifemademegetthis

9. "When somebody says something about themselves when it's not prompted or necessary. Like randomly saying, 'I'm an honest person,' or 'I'm a hard worker.'"

—u/jrhawk42

10. "When someone says, 'It's just a joke.' It's called 'Shrodinger's Douchebag' — deciding on whether what you said was a joke or not depending on people's reactions."

—u/Drprim83

11. "Someone who frequently, in response to you telling them about a bad or inconvenient thing that happened to you, start with 'Well what you SHOULD have done...' or 'What I would have done...' These people tend to be very opinionated and stubborn, even in situations they don't really know anything about."

—u/solaris_eclipse

12. "Anything that exposes poor morals or tricks others. For example, 'I'll just say I never got it so they send me another one.' When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote."

—u/emik7133

13. "When people say shit like, 'clearly,' 'obviously,' etc. If someone has to reassure you or themselves that something is real, it’s dangerous. Relationships, politics, academia. Never trust someone who thinks their opinion is an absolute."

—u/dirtyhippie62

14. "When they say, 'Oh, it's ok. It doesn't matter" in attempt to calm me down, as in it's silly that I'm upset by something not too important. It doesn't matter to whom??? Because obviously it does matter to me."

—u/cherry_tiddy

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People Are Sharing Things People Say That Are Biiig Red Flags, Usually To Trick Or Deceive You

On Tuesday, Reddit user u/neilnelly asked people, "What is something subtle people say that is a red flag to you?" People came through with some truly useful examples of things people will say that are usually to trick, manipulate, or deceive you.

Here's what they shared:

1. "When they never ask a question when you're telling them something. My husband realized his father never does this, and now I can’t stop listening for this."

2. "When they say, 'But you're so good at it!' That's them saying, 'I'll compliment you in the hope that you'll take this task off my hands.'"

3. “When they say, 'OK, fine. I’m sorry. Happy?' That’s not an apology."

4. "Or, if they say, 'I’m the worst person ever' in their apology. Then their 'apology' turns into you assuring them and ignoring whatever they did that hurt you."

6. "Non-apologies: 'I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.'"

7. "When people say things like, 'I can say and do whatever I want. It’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?' in order to justify shitty things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say."

8. "When they say, 'I’m brutally honest' or some other excuse to be an unbearable person."

9. "When somebody says something about themselves when it's not prompted or necessary. Like randomly saying, 'I'm an honest person,' or 'I'm a hard worker.'"

10. "When someone says, 'It's just a joke.' It's called 'Shrodinger's Douchebag' — deciding on whether what you said was a joke or not depending on people's reactions."

12. "Anything that exposes poor morals or tricks others. For example, 'I'll just say I never got it so they send me another one.' When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote."

13. "When people say shit like, 'clearly,' 'obviously,' etc. If someone has to reassure you or themselves that something is real, it’s dangerous. Relationships, politics, academia. Never trust someone who thinks their opinion is an absolute."

14. "When they say, 'Oh, it's ok. It doesn't matter" in attempt to calm me down, as in it's silly that I'm upset by something not too important. It doesn't matter to whom??? Because obviously it does matter to me."

Did they miss any? Let me know in the comments about any sayings you've heard that are major red flags!

People Are Sharing Things People Say That Are Biiig Red Flags, Usually To Trick Or Deceive You

On Tuesday, Reddit user u/neilnelly asked people, "What is something subtle people say that is a red flag to you?" People came through with some truly useful examples of things people will say that are usually to trick, manipulate, or deceive you.

Here's what they shared:

1. "When they never ask a question when you're telling them something. My husband realized his father never does this, and now I can’t stop listening for this."

2. "When they say, 'But you're so good at it!' That's them saying, 'I'll compliment you in the hope that you'll take this task off my hands.'"

3. “When they say, 'OK, fine. I’m sorry. Happy?' That’s not an apology."

4. "Or, if they say, 'I’m the worst person ever' in their apology. Then their 'apology' turns into you assuring them and ignoring whatever they did that hurt you."

6. "Non-apologies: 'I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.'"

7. "When people say things like, 'I can say and do whatever I want. It’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?' in order to justify shitty things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say."

8. "When they say, 'I’m brutally honest' or some other excuse to be an unbearable person."

9. "When somebody says something about themselves when it's not prompted or necessary. Like randomly saying, 'I'm an honest person,' or 'I'm a hard worker.'"

10. "When someone says, 'It's just a joke.' It's called 'Shrodinger's Douchebag' — deciding on whether what you said was a joke or not depending on people's reactions."

12. "Anything that exposes poor morals or tricks others. For example, 'I'll just say I never got it so they send me another one.' When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote."

13. "When people say shit like, 'clearly,' 'obviously,' etc. If someone has to reassure you or themselves that something is real, it’s dangerous. Relationships, politics, academia. Never trust someone who thinks their opinion is an absolute."

14. "When they say, 'Oh, it's ok. It doesn't matter" in attempt to calm me down, as in it's silly that I'm upset by something not too important. It doesn't matter to whom??? Because obviously it does matter to me."

Did they miss any? Let me know in the comments about any sayings you've heard that are major red flags!

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