1. HumbL @HumbLTweets Having siblings be like 02:21 PM - 15 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Arabia ✨ @Arabiaxo My mom has my 9 month old son doing dishes 01:08 AM - 13 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Brother Nature @BrotherNature Every other morning I take a hike with my dog to the dog park, and on the way back he gets so tired that I gotta carry him back 😂 09:24 PM - 16 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. steph mccann @steph_mcca teens call it "ig" young millennials say "insta" and old millennials say "gram." what do i do with this research i have been collecting it for months and i am very proud of it 11:01 PM - 14 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. jim, @urvillageidiot you wake up. you’re still a lizard sunning on a red rock. it was all a dream. the concept of selling “feet pics” to pay back “student loans” is already losing its meaning as you open and lick your own eyeballs to moisten them. time to eat a bug. 06:59 PM - 14 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. phil @warmfourloko I feel like every girl needs a “fella drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests. 11:45 PM - 14 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. 🧃 @jiwoeunn this cannot be real 02:34 PM - 13 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Laura @fairycakes My postman has left his sack on my doorstep. What does this mean? Am I the postman now? 02:33 PM - 13 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. fatass kelly price Ⓥ @meredamn i started to cry he’s just so small and the pillow is@so large... and he’s so inspired ... 04:21 AM - 20 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. BARTY @postgrad_barty what’s the weirdest date you’ve been on??? I’ll go first we were going to see a movie and didn’t buy tickets in advance and couldn’t get two tickets next to each other so we ended up sitting on opposite sides of the theater and then the movie ended and we were like cool ok bye 01:52 AM - 19 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Al-Pal @allydunlay Honored to be a part of something so huge https://t.co/A2zEnDkU8n 09:54 PM - 16 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Glenn @Shenaniglenns Vader: did you ever wonder what happened to your father Luke: nah Vader: Luke: why care about a deadbeat lol Vader [holding back tears]: w-well suppose for a second that you did wonder 06:57 PM - 20 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. maria @stfumami “are you a morning person or a night person?” me: https://t.co/wxNULfMUEs 11:48 PM - 18 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Kristina 💤 🔜Broker-dome @krisfloresss My mom: where is all your money going???? Me: https://t.co/CXX8tnZJSM 07:25 PM - 18 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Devon Palmer @devon__palmer Fuck Did I leave the easy bake oven on 03:38 AM - 17 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. gi-o @lasagnabby the real estate agent selling a warehouse to jigsaw 07:48 AM - 21 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. tebogo @bilbobaggz1 “i was born in the wrong generation” bro we have iPhones and uber eats. weed is legal. like what’s ur deal 01:45 PM - 15 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite See previous weeks' #Tweets here.