1.
My mom specifically told my dad not to buy any dumb shit at the store just get stuff for the cookout tonight, this man walks in the house with his middle finger up and this in the other hand and said βdonβt tell me what to doβ π
2.
Sometimes when my girl makes me mad I upload pictures with her forehead edited to be slightly bigger
3.
I made a blobfish emoji as a joke and now I can't stop looking at it
4.
You ever quit a job application halfway through cause they askin Too Fucking Much?π
5.
When youβre at an Italian restaurant and your friend starts saying ricotta and calamari all weird
6.
7.
Left my slide in the window for two months & it shrunk ππππ€£
8.
Me: how do I do my taxes Public School: shut the fuck up and square dance
9.
β¨fresh set π π»β¨
10.
LMAOOOOOO
11.
canβt believe my child covered her face and flipped the camera off on this ultrasound π€¦πΎββοΈπ like who taught her this.
12.
See this is why women live longer than men
13.
Still can't believe I see tweets about people pissed off they didn't learn how to do their taxes in high school. Its fuckin simple, let me teach you real quick: Step 1. Get your W-2s Step 2. Give those to your dad Simple as that idiots.
14.
the pimple on my face when i call myself ugly because of it
15.
16.
3 years later and I can still do a back flip
17.
Me all night Me all day when i should when i should be sleeping be awake