"My friend told me that getting a Peloton changed her life. I looked up her workout stats, and she had used it four times in five months of owning it."
"In first grade, I slept over at a new friend's house. I had just gotten a stopwatch, so I wanted to take it with me. We had a blast. I remember it being a hit that night.
The next week, I'm in class and notice he's playing with my stopwatch! I didn't even realize that I had left it at his house until that moment, so I approached him and asked to have it back. That dude lied to my face and claimed that it was HIS stopwatch and that his mom had bought for him because he liked mine so much."
"My ex told me he was in a car accident, totaled his car, and broke a few ribs. He was trying to get sympathy, so I would get back together with him. He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, so I Google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked turned up. He formulated the story after the picture."
"My coworker once tried to convince me that centaurs exist. She said they lived in a gated community in Hollywood and did all the horse stunts for movies. Did we both know it was a lie? Yes. Did she ever admit it was? No, and I admire that about her."
"I'm a plus-sized girl. I walked into my boyfriend's bedroom to find a butterfly thong laying on the floor that was a size small. This dude had the audacity to look at me and say, 'Oh, uh, those aren't yours?' No, bitch, they're not."
"'No, I didn’t cheat on you while I was in Atlantic City,' my boyfriend said after he told me that he won’t have sex with me or show his body at all. He had scratch marks."
"My husband always tells me he DOES help me with the house chores by vacuuming the kitchen three to four times a week. When asked how come I've NEVER seen him doing it, he claimed he does it before I come from work. I hid the vacuum attachment (can't vacuum without it), and it's been three weeks. He still hasn't noticed."
