On Saturday, Twitter user @emrazz asked men to share a time they stood up to misogyny or predatory behavior.
Good guys: tell me about a time you saw misogyny or predatory behavior in action and spoke up. What did you say? What are your suggestions for other men in this situation? #NotCoolMan
Here are some of the best responses.
1.
@emrazz My father today informed me that he isnt comfortable that I let my two year old run around the house without a shirt on. (Shes two, no clothes stay on very long with this kid) I told him I am uncomfortable with him sexualizing a 2 year old.
2.
@emrazz Just to add, I think the “we” is important. A guy who feels ostracized isn’t going to go for self-reflection. “We” makes him feel included, and when people feel included, they want to act like the rest of the group. Hope this helps someone!
3.
@emrazz I just step in between the predator and victim and stare them down- on the rare time(s) I've had to say something, its usually along the lines of 'step away, dude'
4.
@emrazz My best friend whistled at a girl and I told him to cut it out, he was being aggressive. I think I insulted him and I felt bad, but he needed to hear that
5.
@emrazz My suggestion for other people in a situation like that is don't just speak up, explain *why* something is wrong, explain the impact it has on others, the context of what they're saying, help them understand that what is a joke to them is likely life and death for someone else.
6.
@emrazz I call out my high school students all the time. They respect me for some reason 🤷🏽♂️. I explain what it looks like to basically every one else and ask them if that was their intent. They get really uncomfortable, and I usually never hear it again, or they start catching themselves
7.
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8.
@emrazz Most of the time, yes it happens a lot, if you just engage with the woman in a friendly way the guy moves on Other times you say “hey man, she’s not into it” Last resort you step between and say “hold up! Stop!” In high school i got into scuffles but that hasn’t happened since
9.
@emrazz i am petrified of confrontations, but one time i stood up on the bus to get between a guy hitting obviously unwantedly on a woman who was doing that ‘be polite, don’t make a scene’ thing and made myself look like an idiot looking around who couldn’t find his stop for 35 minutes
10.
@emrazz One of few times I’ve been to a club a guy was trying to get a girl to dance and was being aggressive so I pretended I thought knew him and distracted him. After she left I told him to stop messing with uninterested girls. It’s not hard. #NotCoolMan
11.
@emrazz I teach. Whenever I see students dismissive of female students, demeaning, or the like, I stop them and use it as a teaching moment on how they should treat women with respect. I explain how their language objectifies, demeans, or dismisses their female counterparts.
12.
@emrazz Tough to answer in the abstract, but for the mysogyny > "Seriously - it is 2019 - how can you really think that?" Predatory > (if guy who I knew well) "That is not how you treat a person" (if less well) > "Did I understand what you just said?" or "That seems way over the line"
13.
@emrazz I just called out a dean and major committee chair when they wouldn’t stop talking during a female superior’s presentation. Called them out, loud and frank. Take it outside so we can hear. I don’t got no time for sexist men’s bs!
In conclusion, props to all these guys for speaking out and standing up!
