1. therese merkel @theresemerkel Sister got engaged this weekend and I dressed as a bush in the wilderness to watch/capture the moment. We are 1 yr apart.. why are our lives so different rofl 08:10 PM - 23 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. mich @bigIttIeIies STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING reese is learning how to tiktok and thats very important give her some credits 04:10 PM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Addatude @addatude_ Me to my dog after we realize it was the ice maker that made that noise and not a serial killer https://t.co/HTARCl3Ru9 02:28 PM - 28 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Michael Thornwell @mikethornwell Me telling my friends how I’m about to marry somebody I met 15 minutes ago vs me talking about the same person a week later 03:17 PM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. JuanPa @jpbrammer remember MySpace where we could autoplay music on our page and visibly rank our friends by how much we loved them... what kind of sociopathic shit.... 01:10 AM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Frankie Muniz @frankiemuniz New profile pic of @lizzo and me. Credit to Strawberry_cherub on Instagram. 05:42 PM - 27 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. leslie💛 @leslietellezz When u find out he didn’t ghost you, he just got arrested 🥰>>> 05:49 PM - 24 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. hope xcx @hopifer computer science major schedule: 1. beep 2. boop 3. boop 4. bop 5. 100k salary 03:37 PM - 26 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. adam @brokeangeI literally no one: bitches who put eyelashes on their headlights: 01:08 PM - 25 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. holmes holmes @_holmes_holmes guess i need a new job!! :,( 09:23 PM - 25 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Sadz @ladyysadie Me doing both Estelle and Kanye’s parts in American boy https://t.co/pikWDJUcLe 07:23 AM - 25 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. that bitch @yourholygaymom gays and their english teacher 07:18 PM - 25 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Innocent Nudes @InnocentNudes 04:55 PM - 26 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. The Tweet is Already Muted @simsimmaaa Usher thinking he in the middle has me screaming https://t.co/821K5iqcCW 07:49 AM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. 💋 @sh6wt Me leaving my room to go accuse everyone in the house of stealing my charger I misplaced https://t.co/EhEi8ET3kP 09:00 PM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. frankencline @consensualcline the text messages and snapchats i send at 4:30am are none of my business and please do not talk to me about them the next day 01:36 AM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. lena @notIena my next relationship better be my last because i'm tired of telling guys my favorite color 11:05 PM - 27 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Emma @CampbellxEmma Thinking about how the Dutch police arrested a bird for taking part in a robbery, put it in a jail cell with bread and water & when the media reported on it they put a little black bar over the face to protect its identity 08:06 PM - 29 Sep 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite If you want to read some more hilarious tweets, we've got a bunch here!