1.
I waitressed at olive garden for years and no amount of training can prepare you for the number of men who think it's ok to propose to their girlfriends in an olive garden on valentine's day
2.
I asked for a DARK coffee, not a Depressed one 🤦🏽♂️
3.
I was just at starbucks on my lunch break and the guy in front of me in line asked the barista if they could crumble up 2 blueberry scones and blend them into his drink. not sure what his story is but i hope he finds peace
4.
my favourite tv moment was when i got voted off the weakest link, and host cornelia frances said "i understand you like golf. well your teammates have decided your game was below par" to which i said 'that's a good thing" and they had to do a retake and change the script for her
5.
doing taxes is so easy idk what you guys are talking about Step 1: get your W-2’s Step 2: give them to your dad i don’t know what so hard about that.
6.
When you discover new music and your entire life has purpose again https://t.co/eg30x61YRI
7.
me to ppl i’ve met four times
8.
me getting ready to suggest cheesecake factory to the group
9.
probably the last thing i’d do if i inherited billions of dollars from my parents is fight crime dressed as a bat
10.
The guy delivering statues at the Independent Spirit Awards didn’t bother to put down his sandwich before coming onstage.
11.
Just experienced LA to its fullest. A girl ate a habanero pepper and panicked and someone offered her a glass of milk and she paused mid freak out and goes “do you have almond milk?”
12.
someone cut in front of me at Trader Joe’s
13.
when the waiter gets my entire meal wrong but it’s okay cause she was trying her best https://t.co/RquPyK6lNi
14.
“Bring me Solo” 🙂
15.
one time this girl invited me over at like 2 am and i thought it was for sex but she just sang to me n held my hand....
16.
The honor of a lifetime
17.
i believe this insane / horny valentine my youngest sister made for a school project deserves wider attention