Elliot Page Turned Down A Film Because He'd Have To Wear Dress: "It Was Too Much"

"I was despondent, trapped in a dismal disguise — an empty, aimless shell."

This post mentions suicidal ideation.

Elliot Page's memoir Pageboy has been released, and there are some pretty stunning revelations.

Michael Tran / AFP via Getty Images

He revealed he had hooked up with costars, been verbally accosted by a famous "asshole" celeb, and more. Another revelation was the fact that Elliot actually turned down a period drama film.

Axelle / FilmMagic

This happened before Elliot came out as gay and subsequently transgender, and right after wrapping Juno — which earned the actor an Oscar nomination

Stefanie Keenan / Getty Images for LACMA

"After awards season concluded, I was supposed to make a film in England. It was based on a famous book, and I was attached as the main character — a sought-after role," he wrote. And although his team at the time was excited for this prestigious venture in film, Elliot said he was not comfortable taking on the role.

Axelle / FilmMagic

"I would imagine myself in a woman's costume from the mid-nineteenth century," Elliot wrote. "The dress, the shoes, the hair, flashed before my eyes. It was too much after having put on the mask for awards season."

Lorenzo Bevilaqua / ABC via Getty Images

Elliot has been candid in his book, and to Oprah, about how traumatic his gender dysphoria was, especially during the Inception press run. "There was so much press, so many premieres all around the world," he said. "I was wearing dresses and heels to pretty much every single event."

Steve Granitz / FilmMagic

According to WebMD, "Gender dysphoria is a condition that causes distress and discomfort when the gender you identify with conflicts with the sex that you were assigned at birth. You may have been assigned a male sex at birth but feel that you’re female, or vice versa. Or you may believe yourself to be neither sex, or something in between or fluid."

As for the period drama, Elliot said he couldn't do it. "I understood that if I were to do it, I would want to kill myself."

Daniele Venturelli / WireImage / Getty

"It was too much to play a role on-screen when the role I played in my personal life was suffocating me already. I pushed myself to dispel the truth for fear of banishment, but I was despondent, trapped in a dismal disguise. An empty, aimless shell," Elliot wrote. "I ended up backing out of the film."

Lorenzo Bevilaqua / ABC via Getty Images

Good for you for protecting your peace and mental health, Elliot.

Elliot's book is now available everywhere.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386

Looking for more ways to get involved? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s posts celebrating Pride 2023.

Ryan Pattie/BuzzFeed