1.
*does laundry and makes bed* Oh sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me getting my life together
2.
I sing 7 rings very passionately for someone with £4.98 in the bank
3.
me after typing my name on an essay
4.
If the Jonas Brothers think they can just come back around 5 years later, ruin my life and take all my money... then they’re absolutely fucking right.
5.
dating my last boyfriend was like being on the bachelor but not knowing I was on the bachelor
6.
the process of moving is not worth it. live exactly where you live now til you die.
7.
STOP blocking your momma from your posts... let her see the hoe she raised
8.
If your tattoos aren’t stupid you’re a fucking nerd
9.
Are these the only two options
10.
Just cause I liked yo pic from 36 weeks ago doesn’t make me THIRSTY I’m just saying u ain’t looked good in a while
11.
12.
Scientists at Harvard have simulated this 3D model of what Egyptian Queen Cleopatra could have looked like
13.
me carrying my daily bag of patience https://t.co/QNYUx1UM3Q
14.
white people in class discussions be like "yeah, going off of that..." "piggybacking off of that..." "trampolining off of that..." "rocket jumping off of that..." "kickflipping off of that..." "360 fakey-fakey ladderstall quickscope collateral headshot off of that..."
15.
This Ice shit is dangerous https://t.co/03dQiVr8Ph
16.
My mom when she comes home and see’s one spoon in the sink
17.
All this Jonas brothers news is just making me think about the time I idiotically curtsied at Nick Jonas smh
18.
When you sing both Gaga and Bradley’s parts in Shallow:
19.
no one: that one couple in the hallway in highschool:
20.
when you tryna find a pic of your boo to show your friends and they start to look a lil ugly
21.
22.
*opened 6 mins ago* Me: https://t.co/vpXrGEtNUP
23.
This is what I sound like when I laugh