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    Updated on Jul 16, 2018. Posted on Jul 15, 2018

    21 Jaboukie Young-White Tweets That'll Make You Actually Laugh

    "LaCroix is like drinking Sprite with a condom."

    This is Jaboukie Young-White. He's a stand-up comedian. He likes defending short men, hates capitalism, and IMO is, like, the king of Twitter.

    Here are 21 hilarious tweets of his:


    me: is extra cheese free chipotle employee: yes me: can i get extra cheese chipotle employee: yes me, turning to camera:


    kids who had good snacks at their house are all on facebook announcing their marriages now


    lacroix is like drinking sprite with a condom


    millennial culture is fantasizing about all the medical procedures you'll get once you have health insurance


    what did we do to deserve this heat beside absolutely destroy the environment for the last century


    stop making fun of me for being sensitive bitch i will cry on you


    melania: *enters barron’s birthday party* everyone: *stares* melania: *takes off “i should have used a condom” scarf* hello


    me tweeting when there's texts i still haven't replied to


    me pretending to have 5 years experience at an entry level interview


    me after eating a well rounded breakfast


    so many people wanted a pony as a child only to turn around and slander short men as adults. fools... we are the ponies of humans


    happy weekend to men under 6ft. we’re embracing our short kinghood. we’re wearing whatever shoes we like, not just ones that give us an extra inch. we’re going to be assertive at the bar when we’re putting in drink orders. we are winning


    "millennials killed department stores" baby boomers killed the polar bears but right right right my deepest apologies to jc penny


    is it gay to have a biological father? you telling me you got another man's dna in your body? 💀💀💀😂 shit sound a little spicy 2 me idk


    fellas, is it bi to watch tv and be on your phone at the same time. be honest


    shouts out to closeted lgbtq ppl. it takes so much mental energy to have to constantly perform a false identity. but once i came out i had so much more brain power. i can emotionally connect better. i can hit the chord change in love on top. i can bend space and time w my ass


    white people calling the police on their shadows


    people born after 2000 will never fully understand the generational trauma inflicted by hollister & abercrombie


    there’s a ban on lettuce in the u.s. and i say GOOD. arugula has done the heavy lifting in salads for ages while lettuce brings NOTHING to the table, taste or nutrient wise. spinach has crossed over to casseroles, wraps, even SMOOTHIES. miss lettuce simply doesn’t have the range


    humans act like we're at the top of the animal kingdom when most of us only have two tiddies. cows?? 4 tiddies. dogs? 10 tiddies. yet we're the superior species??? idk something don't add up


    beyoncé nailing choreography and hitting every note: 😌 me trying to reach the outlet behind my bed:

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