1.
this is how lil kids cough
2.
about to send my professors a “y’all won” group email
3.
One of my blinds broke in my bedroom so I just went to CVS
4.
Thee funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time, my view from work
5.
stop 🗣 killing 🗣 scottish 🗣 people 🗣 to make 🗣 scotch 🗣 tape 🗣
6.
nick jonas is married what the fuck am I supposed to do with this😔
7.
why did I ever let girls in layered hollister t-shirts and sparkly uggs bully me in middle school
8.
There’s a coyote outside. You know what that means: coyote vest time!
9.
literally just skipped class because i couldn’t find a parking spot. if that doesn’t explain my tolerance level for bullshit in 2019 idk what does
10.
One of my students has used the word "fucktangular" in an informal essay to describe a situation that was complicated and messy in multiple unpleasant and difficult ways. I am in the presence of greatness and I am stealing this word.
11.
my last three brain cells trying to write the introduction paragraph to my thesis at 2 am
12.
some financial tips: -pay off ur min. credit card payments -create a budget -save a portion of each paycheck -oh none of this working? then it’s heist time baby -get the gang back together -one last job, then u can all retire -u did it!! -but at what cost? rick died in the heist
13.
Me, a sensible non-poor Apple Music user, watching the lower class post their Sp*tify 2018 wrap-ups
14.
me leaving my room to accuse my family of stealing my charger after i lost it
15.
16.
nobody: bread crumbs: . . . . . . . . . .
17.
humanities majors when STEM majors are crying about chem
18.
Me watching my chipotle bowl get made
19.
When a baby is staring at me