1.
I am 21 years old and I live with 5 other 21+ year old ADULTS. And one of them opened MY bag of cereal and only stole THE TOY then LEFT THE BAG OPEN. a whole ass adult opened my bag of cereal and stole my toy. I am prepared for combat
2.
one taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain
3.
When I RT a good tweet by one of my friends with a low follower count
4.
one taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain
5.
turns out ‘nasty gal’ is a shop. I HAVE NEVER HATED MYSELF MORE THAN NOW
6.
my gut feeling: don't do it me: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'll do it
7.
Do y’all play your Wii circumcised or uncircumcised
8.
I swear Florida could be voting between ice cream and a kick to the head and the results would be 50.5%-49.5%.
9.
[after surgery] doctor: you'll never walk again me: oh god doctor: the heely implants were a success
10.
just remember that when you see photos of dogs with "i voted" stickers that all those dogs have committed voter fraud
11.
So my sister is in Hawaii right now and sent pics to the group message and my dad responds with this
12.
me, kissing my children goodnight: love you :) and remember, men are trash :) my children: even dad? me: especially dad :)
13.
....the last guy i liked........
14.
remember when i was like hey i have no tears left to cry and the universe was like HAAAAAAAAA bitch u thought
15.
*studying for exam in college* Me reading notes: ‘Tetrahymena thermophila are free-living pond ciliate which have a macro-nuclear draft genome of 180 chromosomes and 25,000 genes’ Me in my head: “Yeah most of this is pretty much common sense anyway” *goes to sleep
16.
those italian renaissance painters were painting the exact same thing over n over again lmao bro be ur own person
17.
not a cell phone in sight. just living in the moment. absolutely beautiful, wish we could go back
18.
How I feel when I post screenshots of what I’m listening to on my IG story
19.
me: *turns the heat up one degree* dad: