9 Signs You’re Totally Dating A Cougar

Here are 9 surefire ways to tell if that special lady you’re dating is actually a cougar.

1. 1

She runs at a top estimated speed between 64 and 80 km/h, or 40 and 50 mph.

2. 2

Her primary food sources include, but are not limited to, elk, moose, deer, sheep and sometimes domestic cattle and horses.

3. 3

You met her somewhere between the Canadian Yukon and the southern Andes of South America.

4. 4

Her binomial name is Puma concolo, but you can’t help but call her cougar.

5. 5

She has powerful forequarters that help her grasp and hold onto large prey.

6. 6

This is what her kids look like.

7. 7

Every time you talk to her, she doesn’t talk back because she is a large cat and doesn’t speak English.

8. 8

You took her on a date to a movie, and the guy at the movie theater said, “You can’t bring that cougar in here, because she is an animal and this movie theater is for people.”

9. 9

She looks like this.

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